So yesterday was one of those days where I no longer wondered, but absolutely KNEW I was responsible for a Christian kitten apocalypse in a past life. It is the only way to explain the overwhelming HOSING I received from the universe.

Despite the fact I was suppose to leave upstate around noon, I woke up to a bout of vomiting. What was odd about the vomiting is I didn't feel sick in any other way. I wasn't hung over, I didn't have a cold, I wasn't feverish. So I decided to stay home later than planned and see how I felt. Around 2 my mother called to see how I was and I told her I thought I had recovered, and then immediately threw up again. As I said, the odd part was-I felt fine aside from being a little light headed, which considering that I could barely keep iced tea in my stomach is kinda of expected.

Meanwhile, my latest piece of somethin' something was sending me emails. He had been jonesing for me for two days, giving me the "I am never letting you go away again" treatment, and was lookin' for a little bit o hot hutch action at Chez Lapin. And this is where a sane person would say "Look I'm really sorry, but..."

I, not being remotely sane, thought, "I better hit that before my high school reunion so I can feel confident and sex kitten-y in front of the other alums."

So I managed to keep some bread down and checked the train sched. There was a train leaving at 7:30, which meant I would be at my apartment at 10. Since the new hunni bunni wouldn't be free until around midnight, I thought this would be perfect.

The 7:30 was an hour late. I was contemplating calling the whole thing off when in a moment of pure idiocy I thought "Well, I've waited THIS long already." I would still be getting to my place by 11 giving me time to quickly shower, change, push crap into the closet-you know the usual. So I got on the train even though as I passed the conductor I heard him talking into his walkie talkie about electrical problems.

I settled myself in my seat only to discover that my cellphone had completely died-and although I had the presence of thought to bring my ipod charger, I didn't bring my cellphone charger. "Oh well, " I thought, "what can happen?" And the train lurched forward.

The first hour of the trip was fine-and then we stopped outside of Poughkeepsie for about 30 minutes for no reason. Then we backed UP to Poughkeepsie. And this is when I knew we were in the shit. We stayed there for about an hour without any announcements. By this time it was 10:30. If the train started moving THEN I would get to Penn right before midnight. But it was at this time we were told that two trees had fallen over the tracks, and the stop was indefinite. This prompted me to run to the ladies room to throw up.

Luckily, a fellow passenger, who was trying to find a way to hit on me, offered me the use of his cellphone. I left a message for hunni bunni letting him know the details and optimistically told him I would call from Penn. And then we waited. And waited. And waited.

By midnight, the food service car was out of snacks, drinks, and free bottled water. The train seemed to be permanently stopped. If my cell had worked I would have called my mother or even found a hotel, but limited as I was I felt stuck until a group of enterprising passengers found out for 25 dollars a head we could get a cab to NYC. At this point, it was no longer about the hot sex, it was about FINALLY GETTING HOME. Six of us piled into a van, and I ended up in a back seat with Frank Sinatra BLARING in my ear for the one hour and forty minute trip. One of the girls in the back of the van with me let me borrow her cellphone and I managed to get hunni bunni on the phone. "Don't worry about it," he said, "I'll stay and do work, and you call when you get in." Thank the Good Lord Jehovah he said that because even though I knew it was reasonable that he would go home rather than waiting for me to arrive at 2 am, I WAS after all coming to see him. And I would have blamed him...just a little if he hadn't stayed.

Finally we got to the city a little after 2-I leapt from the van and hailed a cab. The trip home was fast and simple. I called the hunni bunni from a pay phone outside of my apartment. He said he was on his way. I got into my apartment only to realize what a sty it was and furthermore my fatass cat had eaten four days worth of food in two. So I ran to the deli, got cat food, quickly did some minor shoving of crap, did a little changing of clothes-and the hunni arrived around 2:30.

Thankfully, for him, he was all about soothing the wild traveling beast, which was not an entirely simple task. Still, I suppose, all is well that ends well-and today I'm a sleepy little bunni. Who really isn't looking forward to getting back on the train on Friday.

Labels: amtrak sucks, train stories, travel, travel anxiety