Ok Ok I really really apologize for that long break. There are, as always, lots of details to fill in, but right now I would like to deal with the date I just had.
Ok so of course the real story starts two weeks ago. I met a nice, albeit bald and older (37),guy at fitzpatrick's while I was having kind of a bad night out. Anyway we talked for about two hours and he took my card and actually left the bar without trying to jump down my throat, or remove my bra or anything overtly sexual. So I was interested, as most men in a bar don't really try and restrain themselves with me. (I've had a number of men blame me for this, insisting that I was the aggressor that they just wanted to take me to dinner, but I insisted on fooling around right then and there. Having been a participant in this scenario I would like to say that I find their version seriously delusional to say the least. I mean how many men honestly can say "Well, all I wanted from her was stimulating conversation over a table set with brie and wine, but she insisted on hot passionate kissing. It was all I could do to resist."OK now try it again with a straight face.) Anyway I was impressed by the guy's restraint. So he invited me to an expensive brunch, and far be it from me to deny him the pleasure of having mimosas on central park with me as a companion. But he said some things that made me, well let's just say the slightest bit nervous. First he has never travelled, not because of a lack of time or money, but because he is so set in his ways that he can't actually handle travelling. Now serious neurotic tendencies, when one lives in new york city, are not enough of a reason to reject a possible suitor. But they were enough to have me stay aware of other possibly more serious draw backs.
But what he had in his favor was that he did believe in traditional wooing. After brunch he walked me home and it was a kiss on the lips, quick, dry, and totally formal. So then he invited me to see this great show on valentine's day. And I had nothing better to do. (Last valentine's day I was with a guy I didn't even want anymore, but I stayed with him just long enough to have a decent valentine's day and then I dumped him two days later. For anyone who would like to accuse me of being fickle, I would like to say that my dropping him was prompted by my discovery that he was a speed addict. I just decided that two days more or less in the grand scheme of things wouldn't really matter.) So I went to the show, it was great. As was dinner afterwards, but again he said things that troubled me. He couldn't handle people eating off each other's plates. Like tasting food. Even french fries. Even though I still wasn't attracted and still was a little unsure if I should accept another date, I decided to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I knew getting up today that I was a mistake. We were going to watch videos as his place, which I was fairly sure after two dates and almost no contact that I could avoid any intimacy that he should throw my way.
BIG MISTAKE.He answered the door in his robe. He invited me in apologizing. Saying that he had underestimated the time it took to get ready. And this, I was tempted to say, was why the good lord helped humans invent the phone. So that when you are in your robe and good decent sweet girl like me is on her way over, you call first!!!! This is why I own a cellphone. So if, god forbid, you are naked or dangling from a tree outside your apartment or waiting for your plutonium nine to show up or whatever reason you have for not being prepared you can call me and I can go home and read or do something equally useful instead of trying to avert my eyes from your near nudity. But no. So here I was so he decided to shower, while I was sitting on the couch. Now if this was a friend I had known for a while I wouldn't have minded at all. If this was a boyfriend of a few months no problem. I'm gonna be honest here if he had the body of Brad Pitt I probably wouldn't have minded either, but unfortunately, he SO didn't have that body.(and to let you know that I'm not a hypocrite I've only answered the door in my robe for boyfriends of several months or very close friends) But considering that I had known for all of two dates I was seriously tempted to bolt out of the apartment. In fact, if the bathroom door hadn't been so close to the apartment door (meaning he would have heard and given chase in his robe) But as it was, I had to sit there twisting my hands really fighting the impulse to flee. But I definately decided that I wasn't going to stay long. One video and then on my way. A kind of "Oh my god look at the time" type of exit. But unfortunately I didn't make my exit quite soon enough. Twice he leaned over to kiss me. I sank into the other side of the couch so he barely kissed my cheek. Why after doing that once he would try again I can't imagine. Unless he was like the boy who had a crush on me when I was six and took my cringing and crying from his kisses as a sign of interest. Apparently this is who the boy had grown up into. Finally I got my hat and said that I had to go. He offered to walk me home. I would not hear of it. I was already at the door trying to figure out the lock.I was out the door and he was like wait, let me give you a hug. So he gives me a hug and, I kid you not, grabs my ass. Now it was more of a feel and it was through my very thick winter coat, but still, my ass damn it. And if a girl doesn't want to kiss you, you have no reason trying for more intimate parts. And then yet again, tried to kiss me, at which point I flew down the stairs. I actually ran out of the building. I'm fairly sure he heard my little running feet as I made a point to do it loudly so he would know how happy I was to escape.
And so now I am back in my freezing apartment that is total mess that I somehow never find the energy to clean up. I'm worried that maybe my problem is that I'm too unrealistic. That I should just settle for someone I can barely stand. Somehow that doesn't seem like it should be the answer. But how else can I account for all of the couples I see around here, most of whom are on the verge of commiting homicide? Is the problem that I have an overly developed ego? That I think I'm much more attractive and smart than I really am and I should jump at the chance to have this well disguised lech chase my skirt?But I don't think I should regret running out of that apartment I think, if anything I should regret that I didn't runout sooner.
Oh happy damn valentine's day.

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