Magritte and the Fine Art of Adultery
So last night the married lawyer was supposed to take me to The Departed. OK so he's married, but that doesn't mean he can't take me to the movies. Except that Ashley Asshat Esq. didn't do his homework, and both of the theaters we went to were sold out. We went to a bar and had a drink or two instead.
He was more flirtatious than he had been in the past. I mean the last time we went out he shook my hand at the end of the night so I didn't really feel compelled to say, "Uh, you're married, so what's going on here?" I thought, "OK he occassionally wants to talk about literature and that's it."
But near the end of last night, he finally took the leap and invited himself over to watch "The Life of Brian."
And now for a digression.
As I'm sure Bakerina remembers, this isn't the first time a married man attempted to seduce me with a completely inappropriate film choice. Guys, if you're going to attempt to convince to break one of the ten commandments with you, do me a favor and have a little taste. The Life of Brian? I mean, seriously. You gotta go with something sexy and dangerous-foreign films are preferable since they seem to have a more liberal attitude towards adultery. I mean La Belle et La Bete, Breathless, or the Double Life of Veronique any of these films would be appropriate-hey come sit closer while I explain to you why my wife just doesn't understand my needs types of films.
The lesson here is-married guys-if you are going to attempt to seduce a single cinephile, put just a modicum of thought into it.
Here ends of the digression.
So I turned to him and pointed towards his ring finger. "There's something we haven't discussed."
"Oh," he says, "well it is exactly what you think it is."
Well thank you Magritte. Ceci n'est pas une agneau du mariage.
My question, of course, wasn't what it was. I had no question about that. My question was more about the situation such a ring symbolized. Most notably didn't he promise at some time in the past to love, honor, cherish and presumably be faithful to some woman other than myself?
It seems he did so four years ago. And he has already cheated on her "briefly" twice. "It wasn't a one night thing, but it was brief."
I'm guessing, and this is just a guess mind you, that neither of these chicks was nearly as smart as I am.
And now to pose a question. In 31 years, I've been propositioned by at least a hundred married men, but never, ever, have I knowingly been involved with one. Not so much as a prolonged make out session. Why am I so attractive to married men? What is it about me that seems to say "mistress"?
As for Ashley Asshat, he decided to add insult to injury by saying. "I didn't know if you had noticed it." Jesus IQ well in the genius realm and he thought I might not have noticed a wedding ring? I assured him that just because I had the good taste not to mention it, to allow him not to be a coward and broach the topic himself, didn't mean I hadn't noticed it.
Men, can't live with 'em...can't fit more than one of them in a trunk.
Well, unless you cut them up.
Bad Bunni posted at 10/14/2006 07:12:00 PM
Hope for the Best, Expect the Worst
That's Delilah, one of my mother's brood. A cat who has mastered scowling to the point that she can start a broken lawnmower just by raising an eyebrow. For those of you curious about my interview, it went very well. Even if it turns out they don't need me to substitute for an ill professor (it seems they are giving him a week to find out how ill he is), they will be looking for a full-time teacher in the Spring. So I'm not going to say more on the topic. Not going to uh jinx myself, but for all of you wishing me luck-it looks like it worked!
Bad Bunni posted at 10/13/2006 04:07:00 PM
I got a phone call today-the first one every courtesy of my mother's contacts. Which considering how she is god of a small community where many new yorkers weekend...well let's not continue that line of thought shall we? Turns out a teacher may not be able to continue the semester and I may be hired to substitute. I was called today and my interview? It's tomorrow. So I'm gonna go to sleep now so I can get up early remove my purple nail polish. Just wish me luck.
Bad Bunni posted at 10/12/2006 08:10:00 PM
Remember your Latin? The phrase describes what Hephastus felt when he embraced his wife, Aphrodite in the Iliad. Think you know what it is now?
It means familiar warmth. Not passion. Not animal lust. One would suspect such a phrase in the embrace of a Goddess, but no. Hephastus felt familair warmth. Safe and snuggly, a bit sticky, sweet and salty.
Bad Bunni posted at 10/11/2006 11:44:00 PM
Thought for Today:Courtesy of Providence RI
I don't have the energy to write a post, so here is a photo from the RI album. If you would like to see the whole thing go here
Bad Bunni posted at 10/10/2006 07:56:00 PM
No Sleep From Brooklyn
Marv and I just got back from a weekend of wickedness courtesy of the RI International Horror Film Festival
and Wicked EFX
. I am currently attempting to upload photos to an online album. Don't worry I shall add linkage as soon as possible so that you can enjoy the hijinx a go-go.
As much as I was filled with ambition in the car ride home about blogging this trip and starting my notes about it for Icons of Fright,
well, now that I am here with the most emotionally needy cat in the world purring on my lap and having gotten very little sleep thanks to the incredibly unhygienic conditions at the Motel 6 in Warwick RI, I think I shall go to sleep.
Although after 3 days of horror movies, the most fattening diet in the world, and sleeping in a motel that should be reported to the CDC I don't know how successful I am going to be in that endeavor.
Oh and while I have your attention, can I tell you how disappointing it is to return from a trip and find no comments on my last post? The post that I woke up at six o'clock in the morning to write so you all would have something interesting to read this weekend while I was away. Not even a "nice review." And it's not like my non existant job or my non existant boyfriend miss me. Thank the lord the emotionally needy cat in the world knows how to make me feel needed. And that is by getting white cat hair all over my black top. Oh three days of non lint brush needing bliss. Already she is desecrating my new black hoodie. I wish my audioblogger still worked, I would treat you to the extasy of Miss P.
So tired. Must sleep. Cat commands me.
Bad Bunni posted at 10/08/2006 11:53:00 PM