Because it seemed like such a good idea at the time

I'm writing this post from Florida, which if I haven't said is Hell in a while, let me say again, it's Hell. Woody Allen complained about California that he couldn't trust a state where if you asked for culture you got yogurt. Here you don't even get yogurt, you get pink churches. Pink. What is this? The first church of miami vice? The sacred sepulchre of the holy homosexual?

I'm on this evil tv internet thing, which if that doesn't tell you the type of time of having, well, maybe this will. I started off this morning wth a phone call from, yes you guesed it Johhny Rocket (author of worst selling book on second only to Molly Bates) telling me "I'll pick you up at the airport in my convertible jag. Then we shall do lunch at the Colony." And I thought "you know my life very often sucks big moose cock, but when it rocks, it really rocks."
Every time I begin to think, as Bakerina often says to me "I love this life" I am simply setting the snooze alarm on epic disapointment. Paris the first time, no expectation, fab time, second time, not so much. Captain personality did pick me up in jag and take me to the hotel and then say "oh I have to go have a business eeting with my partner, I don't want to, but"

Lord have mercy man, learn from the professional, fake a heart attack, pretend to have a sudden attack of rocky spotted mountain fever, or just say to your partner, who is a man "listen I have a the best piece of ass on both side of the freakin' atlantic in my room right now, I"m going to go put the ho in hotel if you don't mind and then I'll meet tomorrow for gatorade and planning."

I think i just need to borrow michael's bag of shit and start crusing the 'ostomy support groups.

The Promised Land

If you are an American Jew, the promised land is not Israel, but Florida where you can wear hot pink lipstick where you wish your lips were. I will be offline as I will be reading Return to Paris on Palm Beach, which is a sure way to ensure that I will remain as unpopular in Florida as I ever was. Apologies on the short post, but on Sunday I found out my former fiance, Eric Kinsman, went to Japan to teach English and now should be studying international law. After everything else, it felt like he took my fucking job. I couldn't even remain the English teacher. So I spent yesterday in bed until eight at which point I watched I Heart the Huckabees with director commentary.
Keep yourselves busy and come back next monday.

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