Shrek

So I kind of sort of in a way maybe went on a date last night with a Scottish man who has been in NYC for all of five weeks. He still says things like "Oh aye" and "I caennae understand these people." ( excuse me I am currently being distracted by the sounds of a office staffer apparently coughing up a small cat-christ man get some water) I have to admit, I phrase things in such a way to get him to say any word with a rolling "r" ( like "great"), and there is some appeal in his referring to me as "the bonniest teacher" he's ever met. Oh, how I love being a wee lassie instead of a short girl.

Somebody start the clock, I want to see how long this one lasts.
Encyclopedia

Student: What do you talk about on a date Prof. Bunni? It must be really intimidating. Like dating an encyclopedia.

The Spinster has informed me that I like an encyclopedia, not just on matters of theater and english, but also medicine, history, and psychology. My students apparently often comment about how I "know everything." I, often, am amazed by my own ignorance and utter lack of education. I can't tell you how many books I should be reading right now. ( Sarrasine by Balzac, Unholy Ghost, the Illness Narratives by Kleinman-not to mention the 277 pages of student writing that remain to be graded before tomorrow morning). Although I know the reference is meant as a compliment, I can't help but feel it is an insult. Aren't professors supposed to know a great deal of material on a range of matters? Am I wrong to think that my knowing a great deal on topics SHOULDN'T be anomalous?

And personally, I don't really feel like I know that much.
Grading schedule

Courtesy of Billy-I've decided to steal his format to give you an inside peak into the thrilling world of final grades.

Monday-May 3

7:00 alarm goes off

7:01 reset alarm for 7:30

7:30 second alarm goes off

7:31 reset alarm for 8:00

8:00 alarm goes off

8:00-8:11 lie in bed half awake with cat snoozing on my head trying to make vital decisions like what am I going to wear and what do I really need to do before I get up this morning

8:11-decide that I can pick up the laundry and mail my bills later that night although I know full well I'll forget

8:15-take ten minute shower

8:25 towel off while seeing if the outfit I mentally decided upon is clean enough of cat hair to wear

8:30 pluck my eyebrows for five minutes

8:35 apply face: first moisturizer and then liquid foundation, powder foundation, cream blush, cover up ( under eyes) eye shadow (one shade), eyeliner, lip stick, lipgloss, and mascara

8:50 quickly style hair

9:00 leave apartment

9:02 realize I felt my cell phone on the charger

9:06 take cross town bus

9:18 get on six train

9:45 while coming out of the subway debate the various merits of different breakfasts: grape nuts, yogurt and grapes; toasted bagel with eggs; or a croissant.

9:55 decide on a croissant as the line for a bagel is too long and there is no non fat yogurt from some strange weekend yogurt rush

10:00 get to office and answer email

10:10 thoroughly depressed by the lack of personal email and overwhelming amount penile enhancement spam I check up on my favorite blogs blithely ignoring the stack of papers to grade

10:50 pick up final exams

11:00 begin to administer final exams

11:01 students ask questions about the exam "do we need to skip lines?" "does spelling count?" "do you grade this exam?" "do we need to skip lines?" "how much does this count towards our grade?" "do we need to skip lines?"

11:10 students actually begin to take exam

11:10-12:20 sit at desk and grade final papers-make stacks of papers to hand back to students

12:20 pack up stuff-collect exams from the last two stragglers

12:30 return to office to check for exciting email again

12:32 again I am disappointed

12:35 write blog entry instead of finishing grading final papers

1:30 pick up final exams

2:00 hand out finals-these students do not ask any questions

2:00-3:15 finish grading final papers, finish grading late papers which have accumulated over the semester

3:25 return to office

3:30 check email yet again

3:35 am confronted in the computer lab by three students all having computer/paper related crises-calm each student-come up with viable solution

4:45 leave office

4:50 get on uptown bus

4:50 grade final exams on bus

5:35 reach uptown coffee spot

5:40 get tea-grade final exams

6:40 forage for food

7:15 have brief dinner

7:30 return to grading final exams

8:45 decide on change of venue

9:00 go to local lounge-order a coke-for now

9:00-9:30 attempt to grade but I am too distracted by the two social workers who keep talking about being "ass raped" by their supervisors

9:45 finally abandon all hope of finishing grading final exams-order a corona-talk with social workers

10:45 call guy you met this weekend to see if he would like to nip out and meet you-leave message on his cell phone

11:00-social workers leave

11:30 finally decide to go home and sleep

11:35-get home and throw on pjs

11:40-1:00 read a book on writers and depression

May 4

8:00 alarm goes off
oh you know the drill

9:15 get up-decide because no one will be in the office I can get away with cargo pants and tank top with light coat

again need I go through the morning roll call?

9:50 remember this time to mail bills-although I still don't pick up the laundry

10:00 head to work

10:15-10:40 grade final exams on subway

11:00 arrive at work

11:35 finish grading final exams

and now I only have about seven hundred pages of student writing to read and grade by Thursday at three






Swastika

As I was riding the six train this morning, I looked up at the 23rd street stop and noticed someone had painted a swatiska on the pole. It was done with a shaky hand and in fuscia, not red, nail polish, but it was still clearly identifiable.

When I was in high school (which had a 71% Jewish population), someone drew a swastika in the girl's lockers. All the girls were quite upset, except for me. The person who had drawn the swastika hadn't done his/her research very well and so he had drawn the legs going the wrong way. This first set of legs, because it was permanent, couldn't be erased. Instead, the would-be neo-nazi scribbled out the first set of legs, and then drew in the second set of legs properly. "How can you be upset by this display of idiocy?" I asked. "If anything, it hurts their cause more. And what kind of moronic neo-nazi comes to a school where the majority of students are Jewish?"

There were, amazingly enough, three neo-nazis who attended my school-two blonde boys and one brown haired brown eyed boy ( he was the flunky of the other two). Jason, not of the Argonauts, was the "leader" of the three. He resembled Beavis, a pointed narrow face, acne, acne scars, and small beady blue eyes. Jason was also dating a Jewish girl. I suppose it was alright because he was abusing her. We all knew it. He would slap her in the hallways or the parking lot, but as she refused to turn against him, we simply accepted her plight as part of the natural condition of the school. Jason's second in command was also named Jason. Not big on creativity or individuality Jason2 bore more than a passing resemblance to his mentor. The difference here was that this Jason was not mean, but simply stupid. Jason2 also wanted me to be his girlfriend, he sent Jason one as his messenger. Jason, who had never liked me much, sidled up to me in the library.

Jason: You know 2 is a really nice guy.

Bunni: Ya, I really don't care.

Jason: You should go out with him.

Bunni: No, I really don't think that's possible.

Jason: Why not? He's attractive, he's nice. He can take care of you.

Bunni: Did you guys not read the manual? I'm a disabled, intellectual, Jewish, brunette-I'm right out. Totally against the rules. I'm contraband.

Jason silent for a moment.

Jason: You really should go out with him.

Bunni: Did you not hear what I just said?

Jason: I mean really? Why not?

At which point I stormed out the library if only to go someplace where I could actually study. Jason, however, kept up his pestering for an entire semester. It is probably this type of brilliance which gave birth to the dyslexic swastika in the girl's locker room.

We used to tease the nazis by throwing dandelions in their car windows while they were parked in the student lot ( they left them open a crack). When we returned to the parking lot the flowers were always on the asphalt, but they never closed their windows. I think secretly they kept a couple, thinking it was the work of a secret admirer.

Don't misunderstand, neo-nazis disturb me. But I am much more disturbed by the passing comment a young guy from Wisconsin made to me this weekend, "You know I wanted to go into finance, but you just can't get into that field unless your Jewish or have a Jewish name." Coming from a young man who seemed nice enough and educated and for the love of g-d is actually a teacher in the NY public school system, such a comment seems far more insidious than the shaky painting of a swastika on a subway platform.