The Doberman's laptop has decided it doesn't want to upload photos, so I'm afraid you're just going to have to be a bit patient waiting for the second half of christmas, the full story of my birthday, and New Year's Eve. I know I'm a slacker, but it will be worth it (along with photos of a blood spattered Doberman and myself courtesy of Evil Dead the musical where I was able to pick up a "All the men in my life keep getting killed by canderian demons" t shirt.)

In other news, today I was asked for relationship advice. I remarked to the Doberman that one would be better off asking Dr Mengele for relationship which of course meant that I had to begin imagining a dear dr mengele advice column.

Dear Dr. Mengele,

I've just been dumped after a year long affair with a man who after the break up turns out to have some connection with a fairly controversial cult. After the break up he sent me some information about joining the cult. Of course my friends are all horrified and forbid from even thinking of trying to get him back, but I'm still in love with him and want him back. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Cultless in Carolina

Dear Cultless,

This is a very difficult question. Clearly this man is abnormal, but the good news is the abnormality is correctable. Unfortunately, you didn't include enough information for me to correctly identify all the abnormalities that need to be corrected for him to be normal. For example, if he is brown eyed, you can inject some blue food coloring directly into the eye. If he has abnormally long legs, you can simply use a chainsaw to cut them down to the appropriate length. His propensity for cults would indicate some sort of mental issue which I would recommend a combination of rudimentary surgery using a black and decker hand held drill and basic electro shock therapy with a car battery. Hope my advice helps. Good luck to you both.

Dr. M


Also I'd like to ask a question to the group. Post break up is a very difficult time for all of us. Most of have certain post break up rituals-things to avoid as well as things that are to be embraced. For example, after Eric left I found all I could watch on TV was Law and Order and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I currently have two Buffy DVDs from netflix.

But I find myself curious about the rest of you. For some of you it may have been a while, but reach deep and tell me some of your post break up rituals/tips.
I've been trying to upload photos of my New Year's Eve soiree, but apparently blogger doesn't like pictures today. So I shall leave you with an uplifting sentiment from Plotinus on why he would not discuss where he was born:

He said that his birth, that is, the occassion of the descent of his immortal soul into his embarassingly corruptible body, had been-like all human births-a moment of ineffable catastrophe and would not bear discussion.

(Mysteries of the Middle Ages: The Rise of Feminism, Science and Art from the Cults of Catholic Europe by Thomas Cahill-page 10)
My friends elected me to hold the New Year's Eve Party that while the Doberman will "stay to the bitter fucking end" I think he is going to be the only one. Most people are stopping by on their to other places. Which I guess it ok with me. I'll be honest. I'm disappointed. Although if I just wanted a chea piece of ass I could get it. Still it would be nice to have some other than my erstatz brother to kiss on new year's.

I'm sick with a cold trying to get through the last stages of cleaning, baking, cooking, and decorating. Yesterday I spent the day cooking, cleaning, and going to another party. Over the past to nights I've equaled ten hours of sleep-although apparently I still look fabulous. One hopes I'll hold up. Now to go to the store and get the makings for caramels and salad dressing while the Doberman finishing vacuuming. I love my non house husband. Happy New Year.