So I give my business writing class an in-class assignment. Here's the scenario. You are in charge of an accounting firm. A few of the women staff members complain about the male staff calling them "sweetie" or "baby." They have to draft a memo to the staff about this behavior.
So I give them prompt and immediately they start to write. After about a minute, one of my female students, a statuesque young black woman looks up as says, "Am I a woman?" I raise an eyebrow, "Last time I checked." "No I mean, am I writing from a woman's perspective for this scenario?" "Yep. Now and for the rest of the semester you are writing from a woman's perspective."
Bad Bunni posted at 2/17/2007 09:01:00 PM
It's Not Easy Bein' Green
Yes instead of a fabulously inspired but scathingly witty post on how I am finding the human condition today, I am giving you a cute kitten picture courtesy of www.cutelittlekitten.com.
Well it IS friday, and I have been up since 5 in the morning correcting papers.
OK OK tomorrow I'll post something bitter.
Bad Bunni posted at 2/16/2007 02:01:00 PM
Just for the Record
Regardless of the claims of my students 30 is NOT
No, it isn't.
And while I have your attention, although I do agree that there is a startling epidemic of small penises in this country, it isn't nearly as terrifying as the penis enlargement spam pandemic. If I get one more penis enlargement spam in my email, I am going to firebomb Luxemburg.
Just see if I won't.
Bad Bunni posted at 2/13/2007 01:50:00 PM
Down With Love: An Anti Valentine's Day Rant
"Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap." -Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Not entirely true. Valentine's day actually pre-dates Jesus. Like most Christian holidays, Valentine's Day was originally a Roman holiday called Lupercalia. Although there are slightly different
ideas about the origins
, it is clear it was a Roman holiday associated with wolves. The Romans were not particularly known for their warm and fuzzy holidays, and it seems that this one was no exception. One of the details that almost all agree upon is the voluntary whipping of pregnant women by half naked men wearing goatskins. The women were eager to be whipped as it alledgedly ensured fertility and easy childbearing. Not exactly the type of thing you want to put on the front of a greeting card, but it gets points for creativity.
"Don't threaten me with love, baby." -Billie Holliday 1
So Valentine's Day originally started as a cruel holiday, and it continues to be a cruel holiday. I can't tell you how much restraint it has taken for me to listen to women talk about their Valentine's Day weddings, their romantic weekend get away plans, their hopes of diamonds or jewelry, even their smug assurance that someone will say "I love you" to them and maybe even mean it and not kill someone. If I have to make a choice between being whipped by a guy in a goatskin and having to suffer two months of people reminding me how lonely, pathetic ,and unlovable I am I don't even have to think about it; I'll take the whipping. *
"Am I bitter? Absolutely." -Trick
If I sound like someone who is bitter about Valentine's day to you, you're right. Last year I spent Valentine's day in my local bar with only Howard the odoriferous lawyer and Capt. Ron as my companions. I didn't even get a call from my gay husband. (The next day I found out that he spent Valentine's day in the ER due to a lung infection.) Even when I have had boyfriends on Valentine's day, for the most part, the day still sucked big moose cock. I could give you the list of horrifying Valentine's day tales but really what would be the point? If you would like to refresh your memory, you can go here
( Incidentally, if you follow the first link, there is a picture of Texas T and Irish Eyes. They are now married and despite the fact that last year at this time Irish Eyes was told he had three months to live, I saw them just a few days ago at the Lion's Den. Mind you nine days after Irish Eyes and Texas T met he gave her a gold claddaugh ring on Valentine's Day. There is no justice. None. Just in case you were wondering.)
"When a man loves a woman, he will do anything for her except continue to love her"- Oscar Wilde 2
"If you break up with somebody you better turn your radio off for at least two or three years because there are radio stations whose sole existence is to make lonely people commit suicide" -Richard Jeni from his special "Platypus Man"
The well prepared Anti-Valentine's enthusiast can still generate a fairly decent soundtrack for the day. A suggested curmudgeon's playlist would probably include: "Girlfriend in a Coma" by Smiths, Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango" or "She's My Girl", The Reverend Horton Heat's "Bath-Water Blues" or "Where in the Hell did you go with my Toothbrush?", Bobby Darin's"Down With Love", Judy Garland's "I Will Come Back", Adam Sandler's "Somebody Kill Me", and any "love song" written or performed by Sam Kinison.
So there you have it. Everything to help you survive one of the most sadistic holidays ever invented and just remember as Lily Tomlin says, "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
1 and 2 Quotations courtesy of A Curmudgeon's Garden of Love edited by Jon Winokur
This post is a reprint of post that was originally posted on February 13th, 2006.
Labels: bad valentine's days, bitterness, loneliness, origin of valentine's day
Bad Bunni posted at 2/13/2007 08:05:00 AM