This is getting to be like an after school special or, even more frighteningly, a soap opera.
OK OK so I'm to Drew being fired and Max being made my permanent latin teacher, which has its own little tribulations. Um I think I've actually come to the conclusion of that saga. (There is actually some more to write about in reference to Max, but I tired of the subject. I'm sure that I can write about it later. Like after I finally tell you what happened on Halloween.)
Ok in other news, last tuesday (lord I'm behind) the Beast called. He actually called on the saturday of comp. I chattered at him for about fifteen minutes and then went and danced very well in my scholarship division. So he called Tuesday and I decided to do our regular I grade in fitzpatrick's until midnight he amble sin at some point we talk until one or two at which point we adjourn to some other locale. (I'm not going into anymore detail than that. So just put a stopper in your dirty thoughts right now.) ANYWAY, something went terribly wrong in the lab and he didn't show up until 1:30. What a patient little girl am I. While I was there waiting this Italian-Yugoslavian started hitting on me. OK first off he was 22. Second he had that whole stereotypic European gigolo thing going on (you know the silky shirt unbuttoned two buttons, the slicked hair, the kiss on the hand, the "Do you know what bella means?") Oh yeah, baby, hold me back. So this is what is entertaining me while I wait for the Viking to show up. And this guy is just, well, I'll be kind and say he probably doesn't know much English, but conversation with him was really grating on me. At first it was nice, he was going on and on about my hair and smile and face. But you know that's only a good opener, after an hour I kind of expect the guy to move on and notice that I have a brain rattling around in this pretty little noggin of mine. (I think I just dted myself by using the word "noggin.")
OK so I gave the guy my phone number. I admit not the best decision I ever made, but he was there and he was paying attention which is more than I could say for the beast, although when the beast is around, there is much to give him credit.
So the beast shows up and sees me with this "leering italian". This is probably not what he expected, but I have to say you leave a girl like me in a bar for like an hour and a half and men are gonna come a runnin'. (Ok maybe that's an exaggeration, maybe a jog or a fast walk is more like it) Anyway, the Beast couldn't sit next to me because all fo the seats were taken. I mean on some level, I was like "Alright now he sees you don't come for the girl on time you might have to work to keep her affections." But that's just the thing I don't think he really would. I think if I was like "Alright you're late piss off," he would be like "Alright" and that would be the end of that. SO here I am watching the two of them talk together. The best was at one point they started talking about me. Of course, I was paying strict attention, although I pretended, very well, to be all distracted. And the Italian starts in on how beautiful I am, the same spiel (the hair the eyes the smile..oh bella!) and the beast says, and I love him for this, "she's is very smart too," Italian "Oh yes I know, I can see her thinking." And this is again where the Beast says something that only he would say and is one of the reasons why I keep him around "No, that's the thing, she doesn't have to stop and think. She's that smart. It comes without effort. This is not a girl you usually just meet on a bar stool." And yet here she is sitting on a bar stool! Its a great trick.
So the Beast and I try to pawn on the Italian on this other girl. He's not having it, he's trying to pawn the Beast off onto her. So the Beast and I go off.
Now I admit, I must have had more to drink than I realized because I finally asked the beast the question I've been wanting to ask him since August. The Question: "Are you seeing anyone else?" THE ANSWER (trumpets please) NO. Ah yes my blonde beast. He is very cute on the few occassions he manages to escape from the lab. Oh and one other thing, I told him how when he was going on the list about all the good things about me (way back on the night when I was depressed because of my evil kids) that I only heard beautiful and tuned everything else out. And his immediate response was "Well, you know you are smart." He didn't finish the comment, but the implication is clear. I tuned out the stuff about my intelligience because I'm confident. I tuned into beautiful because I'm not very confident about that. He knows me too well. Unfortuantely he won't be around for my birthday. Yes another totally depressing and awful birthday approaches.
I'm afraid that although I was doing well there for a while I'm getting depressed again. It's the holidays and other elements. But my wrist is about to fall off and I'm sure your attention span is failing. I shall write about holiday malaise tomorrow.
Bad Bunni posted at 11/25/2002 06:57:00 PM
Ok so continuing with last week's scandal:
Ok so Saturday night there is a big banquet and if you still have a leg left to stand on there is general dancing. It's amazing, I had been up since 6 am and dancing since seven and I still had it in me to dance. Anyway at these events, like everything else in life there is always a surpluss of women. (I'm beginning to think that practice of exposing girl children probably came from trying to keep the gender populations equal. Ok that's a stretch, but why is it there are so many more women in the world than men? This is surely some natural failure. I mean, does this happen in animal populations too? If you know feel free to email this blog's special email address email@example.com.) Now I can handle that my destined man at such events is going to be a gay man. After all I've spent a majority in the theater, which if that doesn't mean I'm used to being escorted by gay men, well I don't know what to tell you. Uh, actually in a show I once played the husband of a six foot tall drag queen. So being the "date" of gay man is actually my natural condition, but to be stood up by a gay man?! I hate to say it, but from a straight man I expect it, but I have a higher standard for gay men, Yes I actually expect that they will show up. And Drew did show up, he had a glass of red wine with me and then vanished for twenty minutes. So everyone is asking me where he went, as I had some kind of tracking device on him. I said he must be around somewhere, maybe in the bathroom or in his room because he forgot something. He finally comes back at the beginning of dinner and tells the managers of my studio that he is too sick to stay and then comes over to me. He tells me the same thing.
Now by the this time the managers of my studio, I shall refer to them as T and M,(have you noticed that with the exception of Max if I like a person, I won't name him or her, but if I don't like a person, I will repeat his or her name as often as I like? )they weren't happy with Drew and clearly didn't trust him as they both came to me asked what he told me. I said he told me that he was sick and couldn't stay. So I danced some that night, but I was ready to collapse.
So Monday I show up and studio and of course D, asst. manager, wants to talk to me about what happened. OK I'll try to keep this short so as not to totally bore you. Basically, what came out was that D, T, and M had been harassing Drew to learn the steps for a month and that they were worried that this would happen. Apparently D realized two weeks before competition that Drew wasn't ready to go to comp. but it was too late by that time to cancel or switch me to another teacher. She didn't say anything because she didn't want to alarm me.(Oh yeah let me blythely go into humiliating myself. Thank you for your concern.) So they switched me to Max as my full time instructor.
Now this switching is both good and bad in and of itself.
Its good because Max, despite being all of 19, is a good teacher. He is very serious about technique. But there are some bad things to having Max as a teacher. Namely, we can't be flirty anymore. Now that he is my teacher is much more distant. He doesn't ask me about personal things anymore. Ok so points for professionalism. But it is difficult to be in such close proximity to someone I'm attracted to and not be able to do anything about it. I have to say as an actor I was very lucky, I never had to do a love scene with anyone I was that interested in. (Mainly because I wasn't really a romantic lead kind of girl. I was always a villian or a character actor.-Actually when I was thirteen I had to "love" scene with another thirteen year old. I had to play Laura from the Glass Menagerie, unfortunately this idiot kid couldn't hit my lips. He would always kiss me on the chin, the cheek, and I swear once he almost hit my eye. I was tempted to draw a bull's eye on my lips.)
Now I have to admit Max was put in a wierd position. On monday he sees everyone questioning me and talking to me about what happened. So after everyone is done and my teacher has been switched he asks me what happened. Now it was hard to talk about it A because Drew was there that day and had been hovering around probably hoping to talk me into keeping him as a teacher and B because I didn't want Max to get the impression I was blaming Drew for my failures as a dancer. So I tried to explain to him that I felt toally unprepared and therefore I felt betrayed. If I was going out there unprepared I wanted to know that instead of being told up until the day of "Oh we are going to blow them away" and then the day of "Oh well this is just for fun I always do poorly with first comps." (Oh yeah, that really re-affirmed my faith.) Max to make me feel better, told me about his first competition, (which I will reproduce here without permission). Apparently Max was thirteen at his first comp. He showed up in jeans and sneakers because, as he admits, he just didn't care. So his mother runs around for two hours finding him dance shoes he can borrow and in the ned he ends up wearing his mother's Versace black pants to compete. "Of course I thought I was the best one out there, but my ass was sticking out the whole time." Basically his point was, everyone has a bad first comp. or if not first, eventually there is one bad comp. it's just the way it is. What he didn't udnerstand is that I can accept there just being a bad comp. but this was utterly preventable and unnec. oh well. It was sweet of him to try. And this is why I love Max.
So at that point, they weren't saying anything about firing Drew although I could sense it. But the next day is what did it. D called me about a couple of suspect signatures. I have to sign everytime I have a class and at the end of the week they compare the signatures to the scheduled classes. Well it turns out there were two signatures for monday and tuesday, the days Drew called in sick, that indicated he had taught me. Well I had class with him on thursday, two classes, to make up for his sick days. I told D it was probably just that he had me sign on monday and tuesday for thursday's classes. D says no, she has two signatures for thursday. She asks me to come down and verifiy the signatures, well, I had to go in for class anyway. So I went and looked at the signatures, no way were they mine. My hand writing is very loopy because I don't hold my pen correctly these signatures the loops were too tight and the slant was wrong as well. So I told D. She asked if I was sure, since they looked the same as my other ones to her. I told her no way. So now Drew was definately getting fired.
I have to admit on some level I feel awful. This guy was a friend of mine. I mean we went out and had drinks on occassion. And the fact that he is HIV does play some part in it. We both pretend to be healthy people and we do it well, but he is HIV and I'm disabled. I feel on some level like I betrayed him. Although a friend of mine who is neuro psych ph dsaid to me "Having HIV doesn't give anyone the right to forge your signature. And a friend doesn't use you like that. If he was a real friend and needed money he should of just asked you to loan it to him." I still on some level feel responsible. On the other hand I feel very betrayed and used.
Alright I really have to figure out what the hell to teach tomorrow and finish grading papers.
Tomorrow the thrilling conclusion. Some last thoughts before Thanksgiving. And as always biting wit and scathing commentary. (Not to mention scintillating vocabulary.)
I always want to take this last moment here to make a promise to you my readers, never ever to use emoticons on this web log.
Thank you and good night.
Bad Bunni posted at 11/24/2002 11:33:00 PM