There is a post at metafilter about a tizzy over an Amistead Maupin quotation being included in Starbucks "The Way I See It" campaign. One mefite posted this faux quotation to the thread.



The Way I See It #23
"Chances are you are scared of fictions. Chances are you are only fleetingly happy. Chances are you know much less than you think you do. Chances are you feel a little guilty. Chances are you want people to lie to you. Perhaps the answer lies on the side of a coffee cup. You are lost."
David Cross
Comedian, writer, actor.


Meanwhile Mcsweeney's recently included rejected The Way I See It suggestions. I thought why should Metafilter and Mcsweeney's have all the fun. Didn't Scrine have its own fortune contest? (Ahem Keith are we EVER going to find out the results?) So I thought I would have my very own "The Way I See It" competition. Entries may be "faux" or real quotations as well as your own perspectives. You can post on your blog and send a link, or you can just put them in my comments (especially for you blogless types). Winners shall win a night of unparralleled intimacy with me and an unspecified amount of French vodka. If you live too far away, I shall send you autographed selections from my Pantless in the Poconos picture collection augmented by one or two cheesecake shots of me courtesy of KRS One.

My nomination?

What could be more inspiring than Hunter S?

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

A close second is Steve Martin in his monologue entitled, "What I Believe"

I believe that the Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with guns.
I was walking past one of my favorite hangs, which has been closed, and King Joe was smoking outside. He was definitely in his cups and thrilled to see me. The bar had been closed for renovation, and one of the mistakes was the flip top end of the bar, which allows the bartenders to enter and exit easily, had been fused making it necessary for the bartenders to either swing legs over the bar (Dukes of Hazzard style) or crouch under. For Douggie, the 62 year old day bartender who still has the name of a 12 year old, this represents a hardship. I told King Joe "Well, hey I think I have a solution. I can pretty much scurry under without much effort. I could be his Beer Elf. They could get me a little hat and shoes with bells on the end. I mean c'mon. I am much more charming than the St Pauli girl." Joe, drunken though he was, seemed taken with the idea as am I. I mean how much administrative bullshit would a Beer Elf have to deal with?
I know I said send kind words, but the Italians being over the top have erected a giant pink bunny on the side of a mountain. (Courtesy of my favorite Brit Blogmonkey)
So the work debacle continues. Even though I have resigned and that resignation is not being aknowledged, now I have to go back and defend my actions from two months ago when my life was falling apart. Aren't we suppose to live in a disposable era? Shouldn't I be able to say "take this job and stuff it" and not have to do it in a thirty page document with carbon copies using pollysyllabic words uttered by seraphim? I mean, I know I work with English teachers, but jesus the whole reason I quit was so this can be OVER. And yet much like a Chuckie/Jason/Freddie/Critters/Hallraiser/Insert Your Favorite Horro Franchise Here the situation just refuses to fucking die. Please send kind words and margaritas.