Contemplating my Future Career as a Beer Elf
I was walking past one of my favorite hangs, which has been closed, and King Joe was smoking outside. He was definitely in his cups and thrilled to see me. The bar had been closed for renovation, and one of the mistakes was the flip top end of the bar, which allows the bartenders to enter and exit easily, had been fused making it necessary for the bartenders to either swing legs over the bar (Dukes of Hazzard style) or crouch under. For Douggie, the 62 year old day bartender who still has the name of a 12 year old, this represents a hardship. I told King Joe "Well, hey I think I have a solution. I can pretty much scurry under without much effort. I could be his Beer Elf. They could get me a little hat and shoes with bells on the end. I mean c'mon. I am much more charming than the St Pauli girl." Joe, drunken though he was, seemed taken with the idea as am I. I mean how much administrative bullshit would a Beer Elf have to deal with?

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