"Hell is Other People" (No Exit)
For those of you who only know me from this blog, I probably appear as a heartless high handed bitch who would have been more suited to being a Roman Emperor of say the Caligula or Nero bent than a modern professor. For those who know me in real life, well, you may have a different picture.
Hey, I said may.
My gay husband was hospitalized last week with a lung infection. Friday his lungs were suctioned for three hours. He seems to be recovering well, but it will be a long haul until he is his old three snaps and a bitch self again. But here is where things get interesting. Gay husband promised a mutual friend, closer to him than to me, named Texas T that she could stay at his apartment. She had a short term sublet and it was coming to an end. She had not yet found a place to stay and he said he could stay with her. BUT he is now in the hospital , and he lives in a doorman building where they will not let her stay UNLESS he is there ( I am guessing this is to safeguard against illegal sublets). So friday she asks if she can stay with me until gay husband gets out of the hospital.*
And I decided to be a nice person.
If David hadn't gone off and died, I probably would have found an excuse. But I was going through that "I need to be a better person" phase of mourning that has somehow not yet made its way into psych. manuals. So I said ok.
Necessary Exposition:
Texas T moved to NYC 5 months ago. She just got out of a 7 year relationship. What I know of her taste in lovers leaves a great deal, vestigal tails, supernumary digits, to be desired. She met Irish Eyes two weeks ago and they have been "in love" ever since. He presented her with a solid gold claddaugh ring on valentine's day-just nine days into the dating process. This weekend he asked her to move in with him (he is currently sleeping on his aunt's floor-how do you move in with someone who is homeless-"darling I saw this simply fabu refrigerator box on madison. We could staple a paper bag to the end and make into a nursery!") It is one thing to be friends and witness almost every day the very thing you have been missing for four years. Adoration, lust, companionship. IT IS ANOTHER THING FOR IT TO MOVE IN WITH YOU.
Suddenly I feel like I am writing a trailer for a horror movie. And let's face it. I am.
The Horror, The Horror. Texas T is not only constantly with her man. She invited him into my apartment when I wasn't there. Now I am a very private person. I invited VERY few people into my apartment. I doubt if more people have been to my place than visited the Unabomber cabin. Really. And beyond that now I find out this morning she has been fired. How does she react to the news? She is going ice skating with her man and then out to the movies.
Repeat after me "Your honor, Bunni could not have possibly killed those two people because...."
Ok now try it again without giggling.
*I would like to add that Texas T has not visited gay husband in the hospital since tuesday, while I visited him three times. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be thrilled to suddenly be living with the person who couldn't be bothered to visit me while I was in the hospital.
**Update: My grandmother has just been admitted to the hospital. My mother can not be sure exactly why as my grandmother is currently incoherent and so my mother is driving to PA as we speak to find out what is going on. I guess Christopher Durang was right. Sometimes bad things do happen all at once.
The good news is, and this sounds awful, I may be able to parlay this crisis into an excuse for getting Texas T off of my couch.

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