"Thou sensual, supersensual libertine, a little girl can lead thee by the nose." Faust by Goethe


"Baths were the foundation of civilization....Had not the baths spread the Roman ethos across Europe...so that in whatever town in this farflung empire a man might find himself, he could at least be sure of finding this one precious piece of home?" Pompeii by Robert Harris

As I have said in the past, generally when I travel I am a panties in a paper bag kind of girl. And depending on your destination, the panties are optional.


It's simply that when traveling, anything one might forget can be purchased. Generally the paper bag routine is just a damn fine excuse for me to shop.


But Jedi Master Bakerina has taught me the importance of taking my Lush products along with me. Lush products can transform the most dreary and sad of hotel rooms into a hot house of jasmine, rose, and orange blossoms. There is something refreshing about returning to your generic scratchy rug and brillo pad coverlet hotel room and being greeted by the sweet candy scent of rockstar soap or the light spring overtones of the Emperor of Ice Cream body butter. And so now when I pack to go anywhere, I bring a bag of Lush products, carefully selected for anticipated occassions, to accompany me. Not to mention that the importance of scent has long been aknowledged by courtesans the world over. An Internationally Acclaimed Piece of Ass should not be without a stash of decadent bath products. Even if I don't use them all, and I rarely do, I know that should I lure some poor soul back into my hotel room, I will have a seductively spiced den awaiting him. And if I don't, a luxurious bath can take the edge off being put in a hotel room overlooking a parking lot and a sign advertising Neil Sedaka.



The Lush products I took with me:

BathBombs:
2 youki-his (contains gold glitter)
1 jasmine fairy (contains purple/pink glitter)
1 blueberry

Bubble bar/solid bubblebath:
3 wicked (2 pink glitter/ 1 gold glitter)
1 dreamtime
1 elixir (contains silver and blue glitter)
2 hollywood (smells like fever massage bar)

massage bars:
goldbug (gold glitter)
shimmy shimmy (pink glitter)
fever

soap/shower gel
rockstar soap
you snap the whip bath melt (half bar)
soft pair of hands bath melt (half bar)
flying fox shower gel

Now if you do the math, you realize that comes out to a minimum of eleven baths. Eleven baths in five days. But that's only if I was to use one bubble bar or bath bomb per bath. I often pair items-fairy jasmine with wicked (which will make you look like you are going to tea with Liberace) or blueberry with elixir( which creates a purple bath with blue and silver glitter reminscent of Van Gough's Starry Night). When you start taking baths in order to recreate impressionist masterpieces, you know you have crossed into the realm of Roman Emperors. One might well imagine Caligula in his more creative moments demanding a bath resembling the night sky, since he himself embodied all the might of the Gods including Jupiter and therefore should be able to wash his ass in the Milky Way. But to surpass even Little Boots, while I'm in the bath I might use soft pair of hands with flying fox. When you realize all the elements together that might go into a single bath, you realize I have indulged in some of the most decadent bathing experiences since Elizabeth Bathory.


That morning I decided to ease into the trip by bathing in Hollywood, which bubbles into the bath that leaves you feeling like a star of classic cinema. ( and no I don't mean a star of classic cinema the way AMC has now termed in which Steve Gutenberg, for the love of God, can be considered a screen legend-but more like Garbo or Bergman). While I was lolling in the tub, I realized that as much as NYC advertizes itself as a 24 hour city, I could simply take the elevator up one floor and have a grey goose martini for breakfast. And if I played video poker while I was doing it, I wouldn't even have to pay for it. But one has to work up to that level of decadence. As it was, I just ordered breakfast to be delivered to my room. I wanted to be completely put together before I left my room and went back onto the casino floor.


"The only way to prepare for a trip like this, I felt, was to dress up like human peacocks..." Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas


Much like Hunter, I thought the only way I was going to get through this week was to dive into my closet and come up with some of those over the top outfits that I don't wear even in NYC that often. Considering some of the outfits I've worn in NYC, it's hard to imagine what didn't make the cut, but go with me one this one. Some of them were just so low cut even the Solid Gold dancers would have thought twice wearing them. I have long had a reputation for wearing lingerie as clothes-often I layer a lace bra, with a lacy slip, under a slip top or chemise with jeans. The effect is that I somehow stumbled out of my closet while preparing for a tryst and forgot to finish dressing, which makes me look like an Elvgren girl who just walked off the page. Somehow when you are in a place where "you can wander any time of the day or night and witness the crucifixion of a gorilla-on a flaming neon cross" ( Fear and Loathing) or where the Seven Eleven has entire wall of liquor being sold in the jumbo industrial Motley Crue on tour sizes or where the topless bars are open to eighteen year olds-well, dressing like a pin up girl dipped in rhinestones doesn't have quite the same impact. In such an artificial atmosphere, the only way to compete with the lights, bells, bad comedians, pathetic tribute bands, cocktail waitresses, copious amounts of liquor, and trashy shows trying to pretend to be art is to wear so much body glitter that I look like something Liberace would set on fire and put on top of his piano.


But for that first day, I didn't want to shock my host too much so I donned my Heart Break Hotel t-shirt, some of my more demure body glitter (golddigger from tarte-a sandalwood scented fine gold dust) and walked out onto the casino floor.