French Logic: La Petite Coquine and Polymorphous Perversion**
WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT MATERIAL!
Now playing: The Herbaliser - The Sensual Womanvia FoxyTunes
The two girls have run off to play in the water and I'm lying in the sun enjoying being a hot young chick in a bikini lying on a French beach next to a hot French lover, when he says to me in English,"Some women don't enjoy sex, but you know you really enjoy sex. You are a sex killer. "
The advantage to being me is that I find pleasure is such a wide range of activities. It allows me, most of the time, to find pleasure in a man’s embrace regardless of his particular tastes. In the pursuit of pleasure, I’ve been bathed, massaged, blinded-folded, photographed, tied up, hand cuffed, whipped, spanked, slapped, bitten, stripped, watched, dominated, insulted, photographed, not to mention to mentioned kissed, fondled, sucked and fucked. Now I haven’t found pleasure in all of these acts, but I’ve given them all the chance to do so.
In his words this makes me a "sex killer." “Kitten” I correct him. “I am a sex kitten.” In one of those weird lost in translation moments, while in English the word Coquette means a saucy sex girl, in French the word is coquine. He doesn't understand my sad attempt at sex kitten so I say, "Je suis une petite coquine." He agrees and rubs his hand on my thigh, which is slicked with sunblock.
"Women don't enjoy sex?" I ask. I don't believe this for a minute. "No," he says. "Some just lie there." He mimes a bored woman checking her watch, "'Oh was that good?' But you enjoy it."
I don't just enjoy sex, I revel in it. The rush of exploration, the intoxication of flesh, the rapture of understanding another person's body, desires, better than he does, the ecstasy of taking a man and bring out the beast in him. Circe was not the only sorceress who enjoyed transforming men into animals. And I’m fairly masculine in my pursuit of sexual pleasure. I’ve been known to pick a guy, a reasonably attractive one, and take him home for the night if I think he'll be a good ride. I’ve even had the experience, often, of men overstaying their welcome. That whole "Your problem is somewhere between 30 seconds and all night" is not just
a problem for men. Men thinking because they spent the night, they can just hang out as long as they like, raid the refrigerator, ask for coffee, even order in food. I've had to not turn bartender at the end of the night, but angry bouncer on them. "This is not a hotel, it's not even a motel 6. I am not leaving the light on for you so get the fuck out." And while most men have no problem treating women this way, they suddenly get all hurt when a woman treats them with the same sensitivity and care. In the words of Shylock "If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that."1 And while I don't enjoy that kind of sex as much as I do when there is an emotional connection, I do enjoy it. And I have no problem with love 'em and leave 'em.
So yes, I enjoy sex.
And I am suspicious of this whole "Women don't enjoy sex" line. I really believe that almost ALL women enjoy sex as much as I do, but are perhaps more inhibited and afraid of embracing their own desires. And if you can't embrace your desires, well it's unfair to expect anyone else to do it for you. But generally when I hear a man claim that women don't enjoy sex as much as they do or at all my first thought is "Well he is clearly a crappy lover." Admittedly, it is some times a case of irreconcilable differences2, but more often than not it has more to do with miscommunication, fear, and/or a lack of effort. But if I am involved in the equation, the only way I won't enjoy it is if you aren't trying at all to please me. And yes that happens more than I care to admit because a lot of men seem to think that all they have to do is be in the room to fulfill me. And sorry boys, you might have the Sistine Chapel of cocks, but just gazing upon it is not going to fill me with ecstasy.
So when he said that most women don't enjoy sex, what I translated that as is "Most women don't enjoy sex WITH ME." I mean I enjoyed it, for now, but still. "Why would women not enjoy sleeping with him?" I wondered. While a little adventurous, he wasn't the Marquis de Sade.
On the other hand, I hadn't really known him that long so I wondered what he might have in store for me later. And I have to admit, I was a little excited to find out if he had any dirty little secrets. Because honey when it comes to dirty, nasty, dark desires, desires that most people won't admit to even knowing about never mind even thinking about hinting it to another person, I'm in. Because nothing is more exciting to me is a kink I haven't tried, a pleasure not yet tasted.
But I don't have the words for any of this. So I just lie in the sun with a contented smile on my face thinking of the pleasure to come.
**Polymorphous perverse is a psychoanalytic term for human ability to gain sexual pleasure
outside socially normative sexual behaviors.
1 Merchant of Venice Act III scene i
2 Irreconcilable Differences is the name of a film in which Drew Barrymore is a little girl who tries to divorce her ambitious and unhinged parents played by Ryan O'Neal and Shelley Long.
Bad Bunni posted at 2/11/2008 10:02:00 PM