How Not To Date Bunni Revisited
For a while there how to date Bunni was kind of a regular feature here where I would explain to the public in general what not to do on a date with me. And then I kind of left off, not that the general public got better, but they were generally making the same mistakes and well I didn't feel like boring you with repeating the same commentary.
However, I had a date last tuesday ( and yes I needed time to digest the details), and it seems I need to add a codicil or two to my dating rules.
As we recall one of the cardinal rules of dating Bunni is do not call undue attention to my height. It seems we need a little review what that actually entails.
Do not ask me to stand up during dinner to prove that I actually am as short as I say I am. Why on earth would I lie? What would be the benefit in literally taking myself down a few inches? Don't be a twit. If I say I'm four six accept it and politely wait until the end of dinner/drinks/underwater basket weaving to actually see where on your body I come up to.
And here's a new one:
Do not criticize my ensemble. Recently at the conclusion of what the other party presumed was a successful date, he actually said to me, "And you really shouldn't wear such low cut clothing on a first date. It makes it really difficult to focus on what you are saying." AHEM. Well, thank you for the honesty, Mom. I thought the idea of a date was to appear sexy and attractive. Next time I show up I'll make sure to wear my least form fitting sack cloth and a lovely tar and ash accent on my hair and face.
One that should go without saying:
Don't cancel a first date especially one that is on a weekend. Really. Short of G-d personally coming down and standing arms crossed in front of her buzzer, SHOW UP. If you must cancel, come up with something really amazingly special to make up for it ( a tiffany bracelet, a third world country, the home address of Paul Belmondo ). If you cancel more than once before the first date, you don't really want to date me. Don't waste my time. You are easily replaced. There is no shortage of bunni mad men. I will find one, at least have the decency to open up my schedule so I can commence hunting season.
Oh and of course to be fair a little piece of advice to me:
Don't date anyone who has been hospitalized for psychiatric reasons.
Don't date anyone who is not willing to meet you wherever you are.
Don't date anyone who makes you feel short or fat OR short AND fat.
Don't date anyone who mentions the bad relationship he has with his mother on the first date.
Don't date ANYONE off an internet dating site EVER.
Bad Bunni posted at
7/26/2004 03:56:00 PM |