The Spider Who Loved Me
I was taking a shower before going out to dinner, and I looked up and saw this big spider above the shower. Now he wasn't quite as big as the spider at the end of Stephen King's It, but he was big enough to need a wide angle lens should I have wanted to take a picture. However, it is the country, and I'm sure he got that way by eating lots of bugs that I dislike even more than spiders. So I was happy to let him hang above the shower UNTIL THAT BASTARD DECIDED TO DESCEND INTO THE SHOWER WITH ME.

Now I understand, I'm attractive. I'm all lathered up. I'm naked. How can he resist? And honestly a little company in the shower is nice, but I only accept company that has two legs, three at the most, but eight is right out. So, of course, I jumped out of the shower and began running around until my mother removed the spider to another location because killing him would be wrong.

Sadly, that's the most action I've had this week.

Maybe I should have given him my number first.

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