You know that movie-How to lose a guy in ten days-which if I had been the star would have been retitled how to lose a man in ten minutes-one of those romantic comedies similar to Somebody Like You, which initially after Eric left held great appeal for me because it suggested that even an emotional dyslexic like myself still despite major set backs had hope of finding someone who can put up them.

And five years later not so much.

I developed a theory in 1993-that break ups should be postponed until AFTER major holidays especially birthdays. And this is a theory that I am so attached to that I have suffered quite a bit in the name of supporting it. While I've been stood up on my birthday and dumped on New Year's Day and the day before Thanksgiving-I have stayed with men, sometimes for weeks, in order not to ruin holidays and birthdays.

And for anyone who thinks that isn't a sacrifice-imagine staying with a guy for three weeks-a guy I no longer loved-a guy who for two years couldn't tell me he loved me and couldn't admit that we were in a long term relationship all while I was living out of my backpack during graduate school-just because his birthday was coming up and he was going through a hard time. And even though you didn't want to touch him or hold his hand or even fucking sleep with him, you do in order to protect his feelings.

And so, yet again, not only do I find myself facing the gauntlet of holidays not to commit suicide by-christmas, new year's eve, and valentine's day, but also my birthday-sans a man.

I have 14 days.

If you know of any men who would up for it, please send an email subject line "Bunni's Birthday Boy."

(The big post is coming-I swear it.)