"So are you going to bark all day little doggie? Or are you gonna bite?" Reservoir Dogs

Here is a little story that happened to me on the way home from ballroom. I was walking and I saw this cute, alright, hot fifteen year old guy. I'm talking like Ryan Phillippe ( Cruel Intentions andI Know What You Did Last Summer) hot. (Girls, you know what I am talking about. Don't even try and tell me that you don't find him the least bit sexy.) SO I walk past and I don't think anything of it. Until he passes me on the street and I notice him checking me out as he walks past. Now i get this all the time, people thinking I'm a kid and then suddenly seeing that I'm not so I didn't think anything of it. So I keep walking and I stop at the corner. Well, he had pasted the corner, but he comes back to wait next to me and then he asks, drum roll please, "What time is it?"

Again, originality, kid, look it into. Although I don't know what else I was expecting me, "Pardon me miss, but could you direct me to the ocelot sanctuary?" or, and this one is for Ryan Smith, the come on line voted both most original and most disgusting at my high school, "I am Moses, let me part your red sea." ( That line takes ona whole new context when you realize that my high school was unofficially about 70% Jewish.) But no he asked the time, and I looked at my cellphone and told him. So then he was ahead of me, and I could tell he was preparing himself to ask me something. So I am desperately phoning my friend James, A to tell him what is going on and B to pretend that James in my boyfriend. But I couldn't get James on the phone and so I looked like this girl who was afraid of him because i'm like "pick up the phone, pick up the phone " as I walk by ignoring him. Now my friends I'm sure are going to be kicking, first because i have been worried that I look older lately (not a problem apparently), second because here I had the chance to fulfill every young man's fantasy-the hot teacher (a medley of the Van Halen original is available at Van Halen's tribute band,Hot For Teacher, website) and third because i could use some hot young man meat. Yes I know its wrong, but sometimes the wrong thing can be pretty damn pleasurble. But I am trying to be a good girl here. The key word here is trying. How sucessful I will be remains to be seen. I resisted hot young guy on this occassion.

The sad thing was that in all of my high school career I was never hit on by a guy that hot. I was OWED this guy. I deserved him. And in typical kay fashion, I only get him when I can no longer have him. And of course the truth is if I talked to him, and he found out how old I was he would freak. Or more likely he is idiocy would totally ruin it for me, and I would have to treat him the way the director of the Matrix treated Keanu Reeves. "No no it's better when you don't speak."