"You know what they say, if you can't say something nice, sit next to me." Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias

I went to Ct to celebrate my girlfriend's engagement this weekend. Now I did know it was going to be a debacle, I was, however, apparently very optimistic about the SCOPE of the debacle. I won't go into detail now, as you can see from the reading stats I don't have the time, but should I ever, EVER have to do that again, someone please have the decency and kindness to shoot me.

OK here are the quick quick cliff note version so as to wet your appetite:

how and when I am to get to the party keeps changing-right up until the day before
3 hours trip to the party location a la Gilligan's Island takes 8 hours
The Bride is on several types of medication, many of them psychotropic-yet she asks me if I have a darvoset she can have
the bride, despite being "blissfully happy" insists on being the focus of ever pity party possible
The fiance, who I met on friday, is much more likable than my friend from the age of five-at one point I considered offering to create a scene so he could escape-after all it's not too late to save the guy
we toasted the wedding with "Barefoot Bubbly"-really
the trip back I was trapped in a car with 2 long island girls who spent half the time talking about their shoes and the other half blasting classic 80-s Prince and Madonna (arguably the best part of the trip) who then dropped me off abruptly at the LIRR
the bride never bothers to call and see if I have arrived home one piece

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