Jackass Posted by Hello
I'm exhausted and I have oodles of work to do and my would be non boyfriend is MIA (although considering the weather I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he showed up tonight...schmuck) But I have to share the latest bunni tale with you all just to make sure I'm not the crazy one here.
My friend C, who is married, introduced me to another friend of hers, a friend so close she calls him family. I'm going to call him Jackass, you'll see why shortly. So Jackass meets me and we talk and seem to hit it off, but he doesn't ask for any contact info or whatever. So I run into him again about a month later and he asks me out. Fine. Fine.
So brilliance personified calls me after about four days and asks me out. OK great. We schedule for a saturday. That friday he calls and cancels but reschedules for sunday night. When my friday night cancels and wants to reschedule for sunday, I make up some excuse. So then saturday night jackass cancels for sunday. ( So I started with two dates, and I ended up with none. How's that for a math equation for you?)  I write the guy off, I figure never going to hear from him.
I should at this point give a little bit of a reason why I was so lenient. Normally some guy pulls that with me and he is in the dustbin, but the big J's last girlfriend left him for another woman. Yep, after five years together and living in the same house, J's ex is now a happy lesbian living with her "life partner." And that was less than a year ago. I can understand how that kind of situation could make any man a little nervous about dating.
But I digress.
After firmly writing him off, he calls on wednesday and asks me out for coffee on thursday.
And I go. And coffee turns into dinner which turns into drinks which turns into kissing on my stoop at three in the morning.
And then after trying to talk me into staying on my stoop all night kissing, he vanishes. Like Keyser Soze. No call. No email. Nothin' the whole weekend long.
Fine. Fine.
I figure he was in for a quick fuck, I wasn't game, and he has moved on. Which is fine with me, until last night I was sitting with C having cigarettes and coffee and she says, "I wouldn't count on Jackass ever calling you."
"Really? Why is that?"
"Well, I didn't tell you. He isn't much of a drinker. Those two glasses of wine at dinner. He's mortified. He told me he got 'so drunk' and he's terribly embarassed."
"Did you tell him I had a good time?"
"Yeah, but he didn't really hear me, he just kept going on about how embarassed he was that he got so drunk."
So there you go folks, he got so drunk he kissed me on my front doorstep. Oh the scandal and now this decent person isn't going to call me back.
It's like the Dain curse.

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