"While I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely ressemble hell"Posted by Hello

"You're lucky. Today started out grey and lousy. I thought it would be a good bed day," he looks at me "not that that would be such a bad thing, but no, it's really nice." I look out at the bright sun. I've been in a plane for three hours, JFK terminal for 3 hours before that, I haven't slept in 36 hours, I haven't had sex in two months, and I haven't had a high self esteem moment in about half year. "You didn't sleep on the plane, did you?" I must be pale and pasty, an unfortunate contrast to his deep tan. "I tried. I took a tylenol pm, but there was turbulence."My hair flies around since he picked me up in a covertible jag, he makes a point of telling me because "you'll like my new toy." It's a nice ride, no doubt, but really as long as it's not a yugo or a tandem bicycle I'm happy.
"Oh you'll be staying right by City Place.It's great. It has a supermarket and movie theaters and any kind of store.You'll love it." With his yellow button down shirt and khaki pants, he suffers from the delusion that whatever sad attempt for a city Palm Beach has to offer will utterly delight me. It's like a dyslexic four year old attempting to write a sestina for a Harvard professor. It is a recipe for certain disappointment. "You have to be careful though because that's where the black guys hang out." I resist the urge to ask "Oh is this where they keep them?" I have a momentary fantasy of walking through a department store passing the Bs balls, blackberries, oh black men aisle 15. I stare out the window pondering the purple plants outside of the University of Palm Beach. "It can be dangerous. I don't know why the police let them loiter there. It's like your just walking and then bang, there they are."
That morning while I was waiting for the plane a suburbanite mom, dyed and coiffed dark hair, stared at me. She leaned down and pointed me out to her twelve year old daughter. Her daughter looked, her brown eyes wide and ovoid, and said "Wow" loud enough for me to hear it. They were still looking at me when I got on the plane.
more to come...

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