"There's wrong, and there's wrong, and then there's this"-Sin City
I know you all are expecting some deep musings on life the universe and everything, or maybe just dysfunctional uterine bleeding, (thank you to all who left their kinds hopes and wishes-as Bakerina can testify I was very touched and surprised by how many of you care about my well being) but it's Monday and I'm tired and I have to leave work soon so I will be giving two quick capsule film reviews.
Sin City
Ok I went in with a very low expectation of this film. I thought "Worse case scenario, very pretty movie with no story, but fun violence." But it is actually a very well written movie. And it boasts Elijah Wood in perhaps the most unexpected casting ever. And of course there is the eye candy factor for both sexes (MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Clive Owens) which is always a good thing. Because of the "comic book" aesthetic, you need to go see this film on the big screen. As much as I love DVD, this movie will lose a lot of its impact on a tiny tv screen. So go, GO NOW and support Mickey Rourke.
Alien Cum Shot
When I first saw the trailers for Alien Apocalypse, I thought "Bruce Campbell AND aliens AND VIOLENCE? How can this possibly be a bad thing?" So Bakerina and I set up to have a whole day of Bruce Campbell-y goodness. We watched Evil Dead I and II as well as Bubba-hotep, which should be considered a classic of western literature (I mean really any horror film that features the line "Lick the dog dick of Anubis, you asshole" has truly transcended genre and become, I can only say, an existential exploration of the human condition), and so by the time we watched Bruce Campbell: Alien Gynecologist we were ready for some good old fashioned alien butt-kickin' fun.

How exactly one can manage to screw up a Bruce Campbell alien flick, I don't know, but the sci-fi channel found a way. The bad wigs, the leather pants, the actors who clearly didn't speak english, the horrifyingly bad special effects, the unoriginal insect alien overlords concept, the utter lack of logic (if the aliens like human flesh, and they don't want their human slaves to talk, why not just eat their tongues instead of cutting off their fingers and using these ridiculous leather gags? I mean is too much to ask that the alien overlords actually demonstrate logical thinking?)-I mean, there isn't even much point in making fun of it, it was THAT awful. So to show our contempt for the film I dubbed it Alien Cum Shot, which if you watch the final scene, and I hope you don't make it that far, you will understand why.

Essentially the short short version is don't see it. Rent Bubba-hotep instead.
So Sin City good, Alien Apocalypse bad. Tomorrow:deep and profound thought about Red Dragon.
That is all.

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