I've been asked by many, even long time friends, why I finally settled on Bunni as my alternative identity. I've given some answers, but it was only recently I hit on some answers:

When I was in first grade, my class put on a musical called "Too Little is Big Enough." The play is about a small rabbit who is mocked because of her size, but then she saves a bunch of woodland creatures, including some other rabbits, because she is quite simply the only one who can because she is so small. Of course, the play is about accepting differences in others and understanding that diversity is a strength, a message I wish was still emphasized in American public schools. Because of my size, I was cast in the lead role-the first show I was ever in and, strangely, I still remember quite a bit about it. My friend Ivan played Odie the skunk, for example. The big showstopping song featured the chorus: "I'm so proud of myself, oh why be shy, I taught us a new way, what a wonderful bunny am I." Somewhere my father actually had a videotape of this very show. And the name of the character I played? BB Bunny.

In third grade, asked to play my favorite character from literature, I chose the Velveteen Rabbit-a story about love and rejection. A story about how the love of another defines not just who we are, but what we are as well as meditation on what makes something real.

Recently, I bought one of my favorite books from childhood a feminist tale called, "The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes" which is essentially the little engine that could with a single female mother rabbit (like the Velveteen Rabbit this story also features a sick child) as the main character.

So there are all these images of rabbits from my childhood with very positive connotations about overcoming obstacles and finding strength in an apparent weakness. Not a surprise then I would choose this as my alternative identity.

But the rabbit is known for its ability to run. The one thing I can't do. When it comes to fight or flight, I have to fight. It's s strength, but really it's instinct. When confronted with danger, a rabbit knows its only hope of survival stems from its ability to run. It doesn't have to talk to its therapist. It doesn't have to weight the options. It understands without a moment's thought how to survive. And thus I have fought in the same way that a rabbit runs, but I've always wanted to run. Most of my past exes have been runners. As if in loving them, I could run by extension. But it never works, they always run away. And so I give myself the name Bunni, the only way I can run.

Make sense?