Yeah, yeah I'm supposed to be grading and writing the great American novel about France...and yet Bakerina found out she got into law school and the Office Elf also got into grad school so I had to make with the celebratin'. And being me that means doing something fairly unusual. I mean anyone can send a muffin basket but how many go to the Double Down Saloon to enjoy bacon martinis while looking at the "Shut Up and Drink" murals?1

I kid you not.

To go with our martinis were Mo's Bacon Bars, a chocolate and bacon candy bar. Now before you all say "Ewwww" let me say this the Bacon Bars rock. Seriously. I'm gonna have to buy some more tomorrow. If you have ever had chocolate with fleur de sel on top, you'll like Mo's Bacon Bar. MMmmm.2

But, uh, take a pass on the bacon martinis.


* If you don't know what traif is, go here.

1. While I had been put onto the bacon martinis at Double Downs Saloon courtesy of Metafilter, they had neglected to warn about the s & m porn that shows on the TVs. Office Elf has since pointed out that their website warns of "insane midget porn." What actually shows is a series of clips for cult horror trailers like "the Wizard of Gore" and "The Gruesome Twosome", unusual animation, and porn including extended scenes of a naked tattooed man being hung by fish hooks as well as some rather unusual applications of mousetraps and hemostats. Not since my evening at Dick's bar have I seen such porn shown in public. Strangely, however, I do want to rewatch the Cell.

2. Only a Jew could dream up such a celebration. Why? Because if you are a Jew, no matter how reform you are you know that bacon is absolutely right out. I mean I was raised by a family so reform we were lucky if we remembered where the temple was. (Wait wasn't two down on Oak street? I told you it was on Maple.) Yet, we still knew bacon was completely forbidden. Thus the ultimate in decadent celebration = bacon.