"If you can look at yourself and laugh, you aren't as bad off as you think." Pere Lapin

I really don't have the time to post, but this issue has really hit me the last few days. I was going to post about my vanishing act, and how people take it personally, but that will just have to wait.

In the last two days, 3 people have taken throw away comments from me far too seriously. Joe Flirt wrote a post about one of my claims over at his blog. I wrote a little comment and made the mistake of finishing it with "But then again, I’ve always been fairly proud of being a bad girl."


I once wrote the worst mistake of your life will seem like a good idea at the time. I should have written the worst mistake of your life will be a throw away comment you barely remember making.

And what ensued demonstrated that some people need to take things just a little more lightly. One reader seemed to react with my claim with some intensity. Her response was downright rude, but knowing what causes is a troll is often a very personal reaction to benign comment, I responded to her question politely and made it clear that in no way was my claim meant to insult anyone. How did she respond?

It pissed me off because wearing the ‘bad’ badge with pride pisses with off. Dunno why. Just does. I think it’s that attitude that “I’m a bad, naughty girl and I just love sex” thing - seems so passe (accent acute on the ‘e’ there), so old hat, and so very much over-used. Old. But probably more than that I feel I it’s the misuse of the word ‘bad’ basically.

Yep, I'm polite and I'm told that my attitude is passe, over used, and old even though she can't come up with a real reason WHY it upsets her so much. Then another reader jumped on the bandwagon with:
“Bad” has connotations of it’s own, that go far beyond “bad girl” or bad whatever. You might use a more positive word like “different” “rebellious” “unique” “bohemian” “unconventional” — these all imply similar things to the what you seem to give as examples of your “badness” but do so with a positive spin, an empowering one if you ask me. I’ve always referred to myself as “unconventional” or “non-traditional” — and I certainly fit a lot of the description the way Bunni talks about herself and her choices. Perhaps not to the same degree, and perhaps not as overtly now that I’m an almost 41 married woman. But I think — as Joe can attest — I’ve lived a pretty “bad” life, as Bunni would call it. I just choose not to refer to my own choices in such pejorative terms. Perhaps, Bunni, you might ask yourself why you do that.

Ah yes, it couldn't be because I used bad BECAUSE of its specific connotation. There veiled at the end is the cliche that I need to think about why I would do this with the clear implication being "If you really enjoy your life so much, why use a negative word?"

All for one throw away comment for the love of christ. Why not think about why that one half comment matters more than THE WHOLE FREAKIN POST JOE WROTE?

And then I get hit by the troll on my last post, who can't handle a throw away comment about the French hating Americans and Starbucks.


Watch some Scrubs, Patton Oswald, Blackadder, Kathy Griffin, MST3K, Dana Gould, Monty Python, Ben Stiller, The Young Ones...or as Eddie Murphy said "Have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up" at least until you can lighten up a bit. Because if you can't say something nice, AT LEAST say something funny.

Anyway, sorry about your comment troubles. I would add Sarah Silverman to your list, especially given the circumstance.

"'Bad' has connotations of it’s own, that go far beyond 'bad girl' or bad whatever. You might use a more positive word like,"...what a steaming bag of shit!

Isn't it nice to receive tutelage, not just in linguistics, but also in manners, taste, Feminism, and Psychology--all in the comments to a blog post? Now you can really get on with your life, washed clean of the improper use of the word which has so burdened you. I can only hope some equally sophisticated--which denotation am I connotatively alluding to here, hopefully not a bad one--reader lets me know just how fucked up and insensitive I show I am by this comment.
I lerve you, Owen. I really do.
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