"Forgive? The flesh was torn from my body by flames while I was yet alive. No."- Vincent Price The Haunted Palace-an loosely adapted H.P. Lovecraft's story The Case of Charles Dexter Ward

Yes I ended up watching The Haunted Palace until three in the morning. Hey, it starred Vincent Price AND Lon Chaney Jr. This line struck me since Price's two accomplices are trying to get him to abandon avenging his own death. Price's character, Joseph Kerwin, is burned to death as a warlock. 110 years later he possesses the body of his great great great (I think) grandson and sets about burning the descendents of the townspeople who burned him. the accomplices want Kerwin to stop monkeying around with personal issues and focus on their goal of world destruction (or more accurately opening up the gates so that the "Elder Ones" like great Cthulu may rule the world again-like they did such a good job the first time). But the line I quoted showed the ridiculousness of what the accomplices are trying to accomplish, How do you get someone to "move on" from their own murder? Hey, hey, can you just forget about that whole burning at the stake thing and focus on the rest of your life, buddy? Of course, it is the desire to avenge his own death that ultimately leads to a second destruction. (Or maybe not. The end of the film is ambiguous. And strangely concludes with a quote from Edgar Allen Poe and NOT Lovecraft)

The Dead Zone and it's Halloween-esque incidental music are on TNT right now (probably trying to cash in on the popularity of the television show) and I am suddenly struck by the idea that almost all of Stephen King's books have a kind of similar theme, the closer one comes to the supernatural, the closer one comes to death. In the original movie Johnny (an odd name for the very adult Christopher Walken) dies, his psychic impulses are killing him. The same thing occurs in The Shining the closer Nicholson's character gets to whatever it is that is haunting the hotel, the closer he gets to death. In another film not directly related, The Amityville Horror (by Jay Anson and not King, but in the same general oevre) the more the husband is possessed, the closer to death he comes, until finally the family flees for their lives. The theory here is very simple, one can not walk in two worlds at once, the strain will start to kill whoever tries. The hero has to pick a realm. In The Dead Zone the hero picks to walk with the dead (same as The Shining ). Why pick the dead? In The Shining it's clear that the novelist picks the dead because they give him acceptance and elevate his status, treatment that he feels is lacking in his actual life. So what do these films then become? Perhaps allegories for the dangers of living too much imagination. Of course we all imagine what we want most in life, but if those fantasies begin to take over, they can become dangerous. The dreamer withdraws more and more into a private fantasy and eventually may experience a psychotic break (the inability to differentiate between fantasy and reality.) Even more so the withdrawal from actual life leads to the deterioration of actual life even as the imagined life improves and becomes more vibrant. It becomes a cycle, the less statisfying the outside life, the more imagined life has to built up. Finally, the individual may be compelled to withdraw completely (This can work not only psychologically with catonic patients, but with such creative people as Emily Dickenson and J.D. Salinger.)

On a side note, I do not know what these people in the hallway are doing to their kids, but maybe they need to take a parenting class. Last night this kid is screaming and crying in the hallway for TEN MINUTES. I mean, the elevator doesn't take that long, so what was the mother doing? Casually getting the mail while this kid wailed? While the kid was wailing I could hear her having a conversation. Who can casually converse with THAT going on? Again today this same kid is wailing outside my door (this time with his father). Therapy, people, therapy. It can do a world of good for those of us who live in the first floor next the elevator.

Cujo is now on TNT ( what no Pet Cemetary or even more upsetting no Pet Cemetary II ? PC II has one of my favorite lines in it "No brain, no pain. Think about it.") I should be doing stuff, but I'm very depressed, about my apartment, about my life, about everything. John hasn't called. He isn't going to call and this is very depressing. One of my friends sent me an email saying that he thinks I get too attached too quickly. I was like "Well, thank you Captain Obvious. I would never figured that out with out your help." Yes, I know that. But that is the nature of compulsion, you know you are doing the wrong thing but you have to do it anyway, you have NO CHOICE.- Like Bruce Willis in the end of 12 Monkeys "This part is about following orders, isn't it?It's about doing what your told." It's not about making anything better, it's not about doing what you have to do, even if you know that ultimately it will lead to your own destruction.

I was teaching Jung the other day, and I asked my class a question based one of his claims. (That art manufactures what is most lacking in the age.) So I asked, if we take this statement as true, what is our age most lacking in? They couldn't come up with a damn thing. So finally I asked what about all these reality shows. What does this indicate a lack of? Again, they came up with nothing. So I suggested that what we lack is the genuine, the honest. That these reality shows are attempt to get at something authentic. (And in the process create something toally artificial.) Just an idea.

Must go get things together. Hate life.

Oh and professorial twit called me today. I've become like his break up 12 step sponsor. And the worst part is that even after putting this much time into counseling I know there isn't a point. I know that he isn't going to listen to what I have to say. My father used to always about advice, "The wise man doesn't need it, and the fool doesn't listen." He was right, of course. This is the same stuff I used to do in high school, spend hours giving advice and offering support, that would not be listened to. (They always came back crying "youwere so right" they would get more advice that they wouldn't listen to again.) The other fabulous side effect is that this guy like all of my other "clients" is not willing to listen or help me. gain I give off some sort of ultra capable vibe and they just don't accept that I need advice and I need support. What do I need to do? Put up a sign? Emotionally needy Jew. Inquire within.