"When you bend to smell the flowers, are they scared?" Steve Martin-Roxanne

Ok well tonight is going to be fast. I'm utterly exhausted. (I was tempted to swear there, but I curbed my impulse so as not to loose my huge Mormon fan base.) But I will add this, I have found the STUPIDEST title for a cancer memoir ever. (It might actually be the stupidest title for a memoir ever.) And now I am going to save it for posterity here. Courtesy of amazon.com "There's a Flying Squirrel in my Coffee:Overcoming Cancer with the Help of my Pet." My friend Tim Herrick has come up with a close second (personally I think its a very funny cancer memoir title) and that is "I Died of Cancer and My Cat Ate my Face." The touching tale of a man dying of cancer and a cat that could care less until it starts to starve to death and has to start eating the body for nourishment. Now THAT I would read.

Ok so drama in the office today. There is this other prof. and he is a piece of work. One of those guys who always has to be right, can't just let things go. Even little things. This summer this woman broke up with his answering machine. Now normally my response to that kind of behavior is that there is a specially place in hell just for people who break up with answering machines (it is a little higher than the break up through IM and Email people are kept) but this case I was like "Probably a good idea." Because this guy would argue your grounds for breaking up into the ground. He is the type of guy that ex girlfriends emigrate to avoid. Anyway he was telling us all about this ex girlfriend and how she broke up with answering machine and he is crafting all these arguments to these allegations she left on the machine. He wants to call her up and argue with her. So I'm like "Oh I thought you didn't like her and were going to break up with her." And he says "I was." And I was like "So why are you going to argue with her?" And his response is "She's wrong." So I'm like "Wait, you don't want her back you just want her to break up with you for the "right reasons"" And he said "yes." And he's looking at me like I'm the crazy person.

OK so that wasn't the point, the point is the women that this guy was totally in love with and thought was THE ONE and talked about having children with, well, the ONE is having cold feet. And he is , predictably, an utter fucking wreck. And what makes me feel better is that I went through all of this when I was 27 instead of 42 (his age). I'm watching him and he is saying and thinking the exact same things I was when I went through it myself. Shoba, another teacher, thinks it is just being heartbroken. She doesn't see it's much more than that, its hopelessness. So there you go I got it over with early. Even more evidence that I am, as always, ahead of my time. But here is the good thing about going through such an experience. (Actually there are a few) The first is that if this is the worst, the absolute worst, then it's all down hill from here.

A great idea, unfortunately it doesn't work in practice. It just tired you out until you get to the point where something as stupid as a co worker telling you that you look like you gained weight can send you into a suicidal depression.