Oh great Cthulu, Oh mighty Elder Ones, Oh, um, magnificent celestial powers. Thanks. No really. THANK YOU.

Just so no one can say that I'm not grateful when things go my way in even a marginal form. Yes this is where I have gotten to emotionally, I am overjoyed by things going right even by 30%. So John came over and we attempted to watch the film Sletuh. We were not successful in that goal at all. AND NOT FOR THE REASONS YOU IMAGINE. Get your minds out of the gutter. No, no, no. The reason why we weren't successful in watching is that we were talking the whole time. You don't know how exciting it is for me to actually hook up with someone else who not only knows movies as well (or even better) than I do, but thinks about them a great deal. We kept having these conversations films, which ranged all over the place. But it was great. Ok we fooled around.

But here's the catch, Miss America, remember the girl John has "just started seeing" is still around. (One of my former students, when hearing about the he's seeing someone, simply responded-there's only one thing to do "KILL HER" Of course, we would have to find her first.) Little Miss America has yet to be dethroned, but let me just say that I think there is at least a patch of ice on the stairs to the throne. The Tiara isn't on her head yet and there maybe be hope.

Of course, there may not. We were sitting on the couch and he's like you do know I'm seeing someone. To which I said yes. And he's like "I'm just syaing if things were different.." How do men think this is comforting Do you think it makes me feel better to know if that I had been just a little faster? If the world had been just a little different I could be happy? The idea of missing happiness by a narrow margin instead of a football field is supposed to make me feel better? People, I'm still not happy, whether it is by an inch or a mile. I reminded at this moment of a former friend of mine who was supposed to, as a favor, call this girl I knew and take her to meet some people. (She was young and new to New York and so I thought I would help her find some friends her own age.) He, however, called her, set up a date for coffee, and then NEVER SHOWED> When I called and yelled at him about it, he was like "You can't yell at me I was doing you a favor." To which my response was "No, you ALMOST did me a favor. If you had done the favor, you would have actually met her. But since you didn't, I feel ALMOST grateful, not quite, but almost." I digress. Going back to the if onlys. Of only things were different. I mean why stop there? If we are going to go into the real of fantasy..if only I was blonde, if only I was five four, if only living in new york city didn't cost a small fortune. I mean, if only doesn't do anything. So then he continues with "Well, actually I don't know. I don't where this thing is going. Maybe it won' go anywhere, this quasi relationship." My response was to kind of put myself down (don't worry I'm not the type of girl men fall in love with) and his response was "Don't sell yourself short." To which my response, and only the people who know how tall I am will get this is, to sell myself any other way is false advertising.

So I'm trying to just see where this goes and not get too attached.

Right because that approach worked so well with the Beast.