From the "At least it's not me" dept.

courtesy of metafilter.

Yes, one of those quality British newspapers, The Guardian, has published the harshest fifteen break-ups in history and, no, I didn't make the list.

Personally, I've always thought that there is a new level of hell not detailed in the Inferno reserved for individuals who break up via email, IM, or answering machine. Although even that is preferrable to the old vanishing act. I would rather have a postcard saying "It's over. PS It wasn't your fault." than sit in my room and listening to a non ringing phone.

But the folks at metafilter do have some spectacular stories.

The guys I've been with, well, they haven't been that creative in the break up methods, but Vampire Hunter D did have a bad one. The girl he was dating for three years (he had broken up with her when we met and then went back to her) and lived with for two, who had actually tried to kill him and herself on various occassions decides to stay home for Thanksgiving. Vampire Hunter goes to his familial abode for the holiday and returns to their place only to find all her stuff, half his stuff, AND HIS CAT gone with no note and no idea where she had gone. He still doesn't know.

And he is still pissed about the cat.

Guilty as Charged

On further contemplation I am guilty of one awful break up myself. When I was in college I knew a girl from Texas. She was always talking to her best friend, a guy, on the phone ( to hang with her for twenty minutes, he would call). To voice my displeasure I started making snarky remarks within earshot of the phone. Finally one night she handed the phone over to me and said "He wants to talk to you." He and I actually hit it off, similar senses of humor and all. Just one thing, HE IS IN TEXAS. Anyway he asks my friend for my phone number and begins calling me directly. I liked the attention until it started getting scary for me. (Remember this is a young barely non virginal Bunni who had only had one boyfriend.) He started trying to push towards phone sex ( he wanted to give me a "phone massage"-and also tried explaining to me that "making love" isn't just sex, it's "anything that physically enhances the romance" OK first of all you're in Texas, you want to physically enhance the relationship-buy a plane ticket- and B when you are wacking off to the sound of someone's voice, it's just about sex-sorry to be blunt but it's true ). But more scary was how seemingly in love with me he was. The moment I decided to "break up" with a guy I'd never seen or even really agreed to date was when he asked me how tall I was. I told me later he got out a yard stick and figured out where on his body I would come to so he could imagine our dancing together. ( Uh, right.) Anyway I started complaining about the situation to my roommate, but kept putting off the inevitable., Finally, sick of my bitching, she made me promise to break up with him the next time he called

Which was Valentine's Day

Which also happened to be his birthday.

What was his name? Kevin Truelove. No joke.

And now I know where all my bad romance karma is from.