At Least Buy Me Dinner First

So the Beast resurfaces in cyber form with this scintillating bit of email

How is your cat?

What? No kiss?

Yep, out of nowhere after all those evenings of silence after calling me at two in the morning in florida, he resurfaces to ask me about my cat. Because that, and I think speak for all of us in the greater NY area, is women really want: an invisible man who cares more about our pets than ourselves.

So I send back some snarky remark about not believing he is a real person, but just a computer virus sending out snarky emails and in a matter of hours I get this back:

Witty emails are quite a reprieve from the everyday oxidation and tarnishes our minds, no?

A man of few, but at least correctly spelled AND multi syllabic words. So in keeping with his uni-sentence theme I send back:

Oh I love it when you use multi-syllabic words!

Well needless to say I thought he wanted to use me for something, but I thought that something was body until I get this email tonight:

dress to impress baby dress to impress.

Wanna read some of the thesis and thesis diversion stuff?


Yeah cause when I'm done correcting the 80- freakin' freshmen papers I have in my bag AND the forty freshmen mid terms that are in my desk and my eyes stop bleeding, I'm really going to want to read a thesis about electrocrystalography in my spare time.

Now I know I complain about being used for my body all the time, but I also am not fond of being used for my mind. It's a package deal, people, PACKAGE. And if you are going to use me for anything, I think I should get dinner out of it. Or at the very least a couple of apple martinis. So I sent back the following reply:

You sure do know how to charm a girl. What? No dinner and a movie first?

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