You dab your eyes at the end and wonder what is so wrong about the love of a lesbian for a dinosaur.

I just couldn't resist that line from Penny Arcade's review of Underworld. To give you a little context-the reviewer is saying that Underworld is less engaging than Romeo and Juliet.

Romeo and Juliet is a Goddamn timeless template. I saw it set in Ireland with an all female cast and it still worked, one family was all lesbians and one was all dinosaurs. You just can't fuck it up. You dab your eyes at the end and wonder what is so wrong about the love of a lesbian for a dinosaur.

Some classic reviewing.

Actually the reviewer criticized the concept of a vampire fallin' for a werewolf as "been done." I'm sure Buffy the Vampire Slayer had something to do with that. ( OK not necessarily a vampire and a werewolf, but a werewolf and a Jewish witch and vampire and a slayer which is in it's conception very Romeo and Juliet.) But there was a great little satire I read many years ago about a werewolf, just biten and still confused, who falls in love with a vampiress who he meets at an art gallery on a rainy day ( the only reason she could be outside). Of course her family objects and wacky familial/vampire hijinx ensue, but eventually they wed. And then the real fun begins.

A local clergyman starts a crusade against them. The young couple, who were living peacefully in the country side have a child. The country rises up against them. Much torture is visited upon them, at which point their "mostrous" nature emerges. The vampiress ravages the clergyman's wife, while the werewolf eviscerates several country folk. And the clergy man? He is bitten by the werevamp hybrid child making him as the narrator says "G-d knows what." The message of the tale ( which is actually very funny-no really) is that buying into stereotypic hatred makes us into what we fear most. On top of that it is humans who are trying monstrous, not the "monsters" we invent that go bump in the night.

As soon as I find the story and the author I'll let you know. I'm sure you can't wait.

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