The Strangest Thing

You know, whenever I go back to classes I feel dread and rage. Before I even get to the room, I have this whole sturm und drang routine I'm going to give them. The whole "Machiavelli said if you must choose between love and fear-pick love-for the love of man is fickle and easily lost-well I've tried to rule through love and that didn't work so welcome to fear" complete with historical allegory and dramatic peaks type of speech.

And then I stand in front of them, and I start to talk to them. And I am reminded of the best parts of my job, the interesting questions and comments, the engagement, the applause when I walk in the room ( no kidding), the ego stroking. And I just can't bring myself to give them the strum and drang because I realize as I talk to them that I missed them. (Often students return from break saying my class is the one class they missed or they looked forward to returning to-of course they will forget this quickly)

Damn it, it was such a good speech.

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