Jaws 4: The Revenge
Starring Michael Caine (who had pictures of him with two twelve year old girls that they got him to do this film?), one has to ask "If you thought the shark had it out for you WHY WOULD GO TO AN ISLAND?" Me I would heading for Iowa. Make that motherfucker work. Grow legs. Get some frequent flier miles. I'm thinking you would be more likely to see a fuckin' shark coming in Nebraska ."Hey there Vern ain't that a shark a stumpin' towards us?" "I believe it is, Velma. Better get my gun." And five minutes later the couple would have a new living room rug. I apologize for the gross characterization of rednecks, but REALLY. Of course what would make my day more than Jaws V: Land Shark?


The mythology behind Jaws is that I was taught to swim by the guy who was a victim in the first Jaws film. This is not entirely true. I learned how to swim when I was three, but the boy in question was indeed a lifeguard at the pool where my parents and I vacationed on martha's vineyard. Turns out someone important or most of the crew or something stayed there and as a kind of favor the director put the owner's son, who was a lifeguard during the summer, in the film. My father just liked the idea of me being taught to swim by a famous shark attack victim.


"Jesus Christ, it's the revenge of Eddie Munster!"

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