Well generally it's because his mouth is moving.

Cue rimshot.

Well this week has been all about the universe saying "OK so you're 31 you are still an Internationally Acclaimed Piece of Ass. Don't you forget it!"

Tonight, a guy who has been wanting me for quite sometime finally realized he had a pair and talked to me. Of course, he said a couple of things that generally I have found to be complete and utter bullshit.


I'm an honest guy...

Generally, what this statement really means is, "I'm going to use this as an excuse to say really painful awful things to you whenever I feel like it. When you suggest that A there is a way of phrasing things and B that I should be sensitive to when I choose to deliver these awesome nuggets of Objective Truth-I'll say 'I told you I was an honest guy.' What it really means is that I'm too much of a lazy bastard to lie or even rephrase things to protect anything, but my own flabby ass. When you find out exactly how much I've been lying to protect sed ass, I'll say, 'Well I meant it at the time.'"


I just want a relationship no strings attached, but whenever I say that to a woman she ends up falling in love with me.

I got two words for that-you wish.

Although it does happen, usually it is a case of guy saying he doesn't want anything more, but acting ambivalently because he knows that if he really acted like it was just sex after about two weeks the girl would move onto some other guy who might fall for her. To keep her on the hook for sex, but not more-he begins a series of highly orchestrated moves to make her think "Maybe" but not so much he'll be caught out as an outright playa.

I've had some great sex, but there is never sex so good that I mistook it for love.

Nope not once. I have on the other hand been suckered into thinking that a sexual relationship was progressing to a more meaningful connection.

I'm getting a divorce or I'm breaking up with my girlfriend

What with marriage statistics being what they are, some of the time this has to be the case, but more often than not it's a married man's way of trying to appear available, when he isn't in any way. Usually when you press for details though you find out, his wife just asked for a divorce and they are getting papers. Or they talked about it and agreed to get a divorce.

One guy who told me he was breaking up with his girlfriend, when pressed for the details said, "Well we are living together, and we both know it's over but we haven't actually aknowledged that yet."

Um, yeah. Let me know how that works out for you.

Here's another thing that womena just fall for all wrong. When a man says he is getting divorced, a lot of women think this is the time to swoop in a grab a good husband while he's all emotionally kerfuffled. In reality, it's a trap for women to sucker them into a dalliance.

Anyone want to help add onto my list? Boys, don't be shy-tell us what women say that generally is completely and utterly false. (I like you as a friend. I just want a guy with a good personality, I don't care what he looks like.)