So last night a very sweet British fellow who up until last night has always been too shy be anything but a gentleman called and asked if I would join him for a drink. He's rather a sensitive sort, and I knew it took a lot of guts for him to call me because, well, he's shy. I've known him now for maybe two years.

So I show up, we start talking. He has a house in PA that he is trying to sell. He thinks it will take a while because he has two alligators.

I said, "You have two alligators?"

"Well, my sons wanted them. They're just babies. You know only about three feet long. You can have them in PA. They're legal."

I continue to sit in silent shock.

"They're friendly, you know. They'll put their heads on your lap because of the warmth."

"They're in the house?"

"Well it's too cold for them outside."

This guy is living with two, not one, two alligators.

"Yeah, but I have to get rid of them you know. I think I'll put them in the car and drive them down to Florida and let them go."

"If you do that, you better take pictures, but I'll damned if I take the trip with you."

Later in the night my would-be stalker showed up and was being all creepy and stalkerish. The alligator owner isn't a small guy. Although he is shy with women, I know he acts like a "regular guy" around the boys. I told him what was up and he said, "Oh don't worry about him, I can take care of it." So we continued chatting.

Finally I was exhausted. The alligator owner started to walk me home when I noticed my stalker was following us. I told him, and he said, "You go ahead and walk home. I'll take care of this." I walked home (I was only half a block away). I waited a while and called alli on his cellphone to make sure everything was OK. "Oh yeah, he won't bother you anymore." "I don't care about that. Are YOU alright?" "Oh sure, now get some sleep."

I only hope he didn't feed him to the alligators.