My father used to say that seeking vengeance is wasted energy because the common denominator of all human existence is suffering. We all suffer. Not at the same time or from the same thing, but we do all suffer so, by this extended logic of his, seeking vengeance is unnec. The universe in all its glory will take care of it for you.

Personally, I thought that was a load of shit designed to try and make me feel better about being disabled. Sure all my little friends were playing soccer and running races NOW but someday they too would feel the isolation, the sadness, the frustration of suffering even if it was caused by something different. I humored my father mainly because living while disabled takes up enough energy as it is and when you add two perfectionistic parents to that mix I hardly had the time to think up a nuanced philosophical objection to my father's claim.

This, it turns out, is a good thing because he was actually pretty right.

Still, sometimes the universe needs a little bit of a nudge.

About five years ago, I wrote a post called Rage Sing Goddess about the end of my relationship with a particularly batshit insane performance artist and fellow blogger named Ivan the Horible (sic.). At the time I wrote it, I was so angry I had to walk away from the computer several times because I was literally shaking with rage. When I finally hit send, I felt purged and then immediately felt terrified. I'd never publicly targeted another writer. Perhaps the Blogosphere would rise up in a unified wave of disapproval to let me know what I did was Not OK.

Instead what happened was two of his so called friends thought the post was so funny, they circulated via email and on their blogs. As a result, it became one of the single most popular posts I've ever written. The triumph was nothing short of sublimely beautiful.

I bring this up because yesterday's post is currently raking in over 3 times the number of readers of my recent posts so obviously I got someone's attention. And that in and of itself makes me feel better. Thanks for being a part of that.

Labels: dave, ex-boyfriend, justice, karma, vengeance

I'm still very sick, but not too sick to test songs, including your generous suggestions, for le grand roadtrip. Interestingly it seems that Bad Moon Rising (which was one of the very first songs I decided on because it was on a mixtape my best friend in high school gave to me) is one of the Universals of Roadtrips as it appears on most of the roadtrip mixes at Scrine. (For scriners: how in the name of the lord jehovah do you upload all the songs on your list? I thought you were supposed to do it one at a time. Obviously the cold is still clogging my brain.)

But while I languish, I thought some of you might be interested in two legal cases. The first is not explicitly about the blogosphere, but rather a mother who has been charged with a myspace hoax that resulted in the suicide by a 13 year old girl. Not surprising the cyberworld is all a flutter about this case. Metafilter has a thread on it, the New Yorker also has a detailed article about the case, and the smoking gun has the actual indictment.

In unrelated news, a twice divorced single father attorney and blogger was dumped by his girlfriend while he was suffering from severe complications after being treated for a rare blood disorder. In his quest for justice in the wake of this painful seperation, he blogged about it(along with offering a 1,000 reward for a mezuzah she alledgely stole.) Not pleased with the justice a good cyber rant can bring, he is now suing her.

Now this case is a bit closer to my heart. After all, the whole the reason I started up Bunniblog was to warn other women about the Idiot Formerly Known as my Fiance. The desire for justice, particularly a justice that one can witness, is a natural impulse after being hurt. Despite knowing that the world is not a meritocracy, most of us long to see some sort of evidence that there is some justice especially if it involves those who have wronged us personally. And before we get into how petty writing about these wrongs can be, I would remind my gentle readers that works like Dante's Inferno, as well as many a blues song, were inspired by this very same impulse.

Yet what raises Dante's Inferno, and other revenge inspired works, to the level of art is that Dante doesn't become solely focused on the details of his/her circumstances (like Claire Bloom's autobiography about her life with Philip Roth), but rather finds the universal beneath those impulses and drives.

But artistic achievement aside, while I believe acts, like leaving someone while he/she is struggling with a particularly difficult illness/recovery, should have consequences, I don't think he or she should be sued. I agree with what Philip Roth wrote in The Dying Animal, "People think that falling in love they make themselves whole?...I think otherwise. I think you're whole before you begin. And love fractures you. You're whole and then you're cracked open."Basically romantic love is painful. When you get involved with someone, you know you are taking a risk. And while I joke that some of us, particularly me, should walk around with a surgeon general's warning, the truth is it doesn't take much to know that people, even those who love us, are capable of amazing cruelty. This is what makes love so terrifying. That you must stand at the edge of a cliff and take one step forward and hope beyond hope that you won't end up mangled and bloody with a mouth full of sand at the end. And if you do, well, you can always pursue a fabulous career as an Emo artist, but I don't think you should hie yourself to a lawyer.

Unfortunately this is about as much clarity on these two topics as I can muster. Tomorrow, onto to Frehel.

Labels: cyberspace, justice, law