File under: more than you need to know

"Making getting clean as much fun as getting dirty"- slogan for Mr. Bubble

What is it about grading that just makes me want to grab the closest attractive man ( who happens to be, incidentally all of two feet away right at this moment) and ravish him? I'm not sure. I would give you some samples of student writing, but something vaguely resembling ethics prevents me, that and I think if I actually tried to type these sentences myself, my stomach would leap up and strangle my brain.

Yes, they really are that bad.

I suppose the physical impulse is aroused by something instinctive and primitive, mindless, as opposed to grading papers in which I have to be obsessed with details and rules, conventions. Or maybe, just maybe, this job is slowly killing and the desire to ravage someone is both an expression of my hostility ( towards my co workers, towards my students, towards the american educational system, towards the heads of my department) and a re-affirming of my survival instincts. I read in some ridiculous psychology book somewhere that some poor idiot thought that doctors were having affairs with their nurses because doctors "face death every day" and these affairs re-affirmed life.

I have a very hard time believing that the doctor who was caught getting a blow job by a nurse who was not his wife in the hospital elevator was re-affirming life. I think he was enjoying the thrill of doing something forbidden. Well, right up until he got caught. Yep, seriously caught. So caught that almost a decade after the fact people are still talking about it.

So for all my high falutin' ( I love that word) rationalizing etc. basically I am no different than John Yule. I am a dog, and I am open about being a dog. I'm just a much more articulate dog. Which in John's estimation actually makes me less attractive. Dogs don't need vocabulary, they just need to howl.

And good god the guy sitting near me is attractive. And he has an accent. Oh how we ladies love the accent. That's how movies like SWAT get made ( Who knew "one hundred million dollars" would sound SO MUCH SEXIER with an accent? I'm still not going to see it, but boy those trailers are yummy.)


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