Fuzzy Boundaries

Is it me or does that sound something like the Great Wall of China covered in green and purple faux fur-the really cheap kind?

So I was accused today by Casey, who is apparently running a very successful "Let's get EVERYONE to hate me" campaign ( clearly therapy is working for him-wink), of having "fuzzy boundaries." Actually it wasn't so much an accusation, as it was a kind of blame the victim approach masquerading as empowerment.

Now how, you may ask, did he pull that off?

We were discussing the Mystery Woman 97 ( check archives around late July) situation. Everyone wanted to know what happened, what had been said. Now really we had other issues to discuss at the meeting, but gossip won the day. And how does Casey respond? "Well this is what happens when you have fuzzy boundaries."

Ok so apparently it's my own fault when I give out my screenname in good faith and get abused even if I made it clear that the screenname and email was to be used ONLY for class.

Caey's insinuation is that my young appearance, my refusal to act "professorial" and my continued social contact with former students may confuse students about what is "proper" behavior.

If we go to the quid pro quo theory, even though I may violate certain expectations of professorial behavior, my unconventional behavior has limits, and they are clearly defined. It is very clear that I do hold to many professorial conventions. Although I my bring up personal experience to illustrate a point ( and I also allow students to do the same), it's not like I am calling them up to gossip about their boyfriends. ( In fact one student was shocked that I didn't know her boyfriend was another one of my students. My response was "How would I know unless you tell me?") Even my social contact with former students is limited to NYU grounds.

So where, pray tell, does all this fuzziness come in?

Some of the other teachers thought I should change my screenname. I explained that my screenname was a signature, it actually had a meaning for me. In addition, I explained that the risk was small. "One student in three years decides to violate that trust? It's hardly a chronic problem or one likely to recur."

Casey responded, "No, no it sounds like you have accepted the consequences of giving out your screen name, and you are dealing with it. You are not a victim."

Jesus H Christ.

Should I hold a take back the screen name vigil now?