Why I hate married men today-the expanded version

I was telling the story to a friend and I realized I left out a lot of good bits in the name of, I don't know, not cowing to gossip. But here is the expanded version of the story.

Ok the married man is a guy I know from February. We hung out one night he was totally impressed with my movie knowledge. He told me was seperating from his wife and he was upset about that. Anyway I gave him my phone number and said we should watch films together. Now before anybody gets all on the you wanted him horse-at that time period I couldn't find anyone to go to the movies with me and I love going to the movies so I wanted just a movie pal. Well I never heard from him. I finally sent him an email asking if he wanted to go to the movies ( I can't remember what film I wanted to see) and get this email back all "I don't know where my life is going" etc etc and therefore he can't go to the movies with me which is of course short hand for I sobered up and thought better of the whole movie idea.

So fine. I moved on.

He didn't.

Every time I saw him, which wasn't too often, he'd be seriously drunk and seemingly unhappy about his marital situation. Which was odd because he was STILL LIVING WITH HER. I always kept my distance, but I did think he needed a friend to talk to because he did seem so overwhelmingly miserable. I felt sympathy for the poor imbecile.

Until yesterday.

Last Sunday I happened to see him at F's and we hung out. He was extremely trashed, and so I kind of babysat. What amazed me was how upsetting the topic of his marriage was. Finally I was like listen if you are so unhappy why not get out? He didn't really have an answer for that one. Well it turns out he wants me to come home with him because wifey is away for the week. I say no. Several dozen times. Anyway, I sent him home and home he went...finally.

The next day I got a voice mail message. It was the married man, and this is what he said ( paraphrased) "Hey, this is ****. Um, I'm calling to apologize, uh assuming you're still talking to me, which I hope you are. I can't really remember what I said last night, but I think I owe you an apology, actually I'm pretty sure. Anyway anything I can do to make it up to you would be great."

So I called him back to tell him he was fine, I had dealt with worse. He kept saying he was a dick he was a dick. I was like hey enough, I have to go.

Friday I called him to see if he wanted to hang out. After all, I didn't have a date and he was a decent enough conversationalist. And again, he seemed like he needed a friend, especially if he was drinking to the point of blacking out.

We were supposed to hang and then he cancelled. He offered to take me to lunch on saturday and I agreed. Lunch was great. We decided to get drinks afterwards which wasn't the best decision I've ever made. I was drinking slowly, and he wasn't. But then at the end he ordered me two HUGE strawberry margaritas. And of course, I had to drink them.

I would also like to say the conversation was very safe. We were talking about politics and films, Michael Moore and statistical manipulation, healing and its dilemmas. It was hardly the talk of seduction. Anyway, I did at one point mention how pissed off I was about men just using me for my body ( hint hint). A comment I have made him to many times before.(actually on sunday I told him directly "I am not interested in just sex. I have that part taken care of thanks. There isn't a shortage.")

So, in one of my not so bright, induced by margaritas moments, he decides I have to see this film he has at his place and I agree. So we go, and we sit on the couch. And I fall asleep.

Yep, I feel asleep. How is that for overwhelming passion?

Well, some people don't understand that an unconscious girl on the couch is not an invitation to license. He started kissing my stomach and trying to unbuckle my pants. I got pissed. I stood up and said "Where the hell did you put my shoes?"

And then he said "What did you think this was all about? What did you think we were doing here?" I was like "Um watching a movie?" was what sprung to mind, but what I said was "I am trying to be your friend." And this is where he got pissed ( which amuses me to no end). He was like "You think you can fix me? You think you can fix my marriage?" I said "No I wanted to help you. You seemed so miserable and I understand what it is like to be in your position." And he offered ( and this is my favorite line) "Can't we be friends with benefits?" I stormed out without saying "Um for that to work you have to be friends first." Nor did I offer that I had already tried it several times with awful results.

He hasn't called nor will he as I am fairly sure he is too afraid of my wrath to do so.

What pisses me off the most is his comment "What do you think we are doing here?" which implies that everything was leading up to that poorly executed seduction. Only a dolt would have to hear several times "I don't want men to use me for my body" and then proceed to try and use me for my body. I mean, really, how much more of a hint do you need? It means he wasn't listening to anything I said up until that point.

And interestingly now my sympathy has complete flipped. Here is this woman who financially supported her husband for five years and now he is going to cheat on her?

Ick.

It makes me think that I am alone because I actually have something like honor.

Something like it.