Why I teach

OK so there have been some questions about why I do this job, and it's a question I ask myself daily. I wil be going on this more on the future, but you can check my comments on the previous post to give you the beginning of the idea. Yesterday the 2:00 class was great. And when you have a great class you really feel good as a teacher. Today the 11:00 was falling asleep, which makes me want to go home and stick my head in the toilet. Like all people I tend to complain about the things that go wrong and not mention what goes right. Last night I got the following email:

Dear Ms Bunni:

I am writing tell you how happy I am to have taken your class in the summer. Before that time I had written only one research paper in high school and had never received any feedback on it at all. I think by me having took your class I have gained a stronger sense of how to argue my point. I'm really just writing to thank you because after going to my classes today I realized how many research papers I have to write. So thank you.

But such a nice email is then counter balanced by the fact that she wrote "I think by me having took", which shows me how much I have failed in my job. In addition, today one of my students asked her former teacher if she could switch into his section. He asked me about it, knowing full well I was already feeling very depressed about my whole teaching situation. I told him "Like I tell my students when they whine about homework 'That it annoys you, only makes me enjoy it more.' So no she can't switch." He should know better anyway. Even if I said yes, the department won't let her switch unless she can demonstrate a serious scheduling conflict. And even if she could, she shouldn't rely on a former teacher to help her out, she should come to me herself.

Ok I'm ranting again.

Basically why do I do this? Why did Cinderella clean up after her evil stepsisters? Because she was a virtuous girl, who believed in being "good" even when there were no rewards. Jin can tell you a lot of my hostility comes from the fact that I put a lot into my job so that when students want to switch or don't learn or fall asleep I take it personally while teachers like the Mistake don't mind because they don't have much invested in their classes. I am working on doing less or finding ways to cut corners, which hopefully lead to a reduction in hostility. I do this because I believe in learning and education. But that doesn't mean that I don't get frustrated.

What's amazing is that I listen to other people complain aabout their jobs, and then when I join in, people always ask "why do you do it?" Well, why do you? Annoyance is part of the equation. The question is how much and is there a pay off? The annoyance factor varies, but the pay off part in terms of emotional satisfaction, pay, and beenfits is almost none. However, the virtue pay off is off the charts. Last year my students dubbed me St. Bunni because of all the help I gave them. The same class also used to call me G-d because they claimed I knew everything, or knew someone who knew it, if I happened to forget. I keep seeing former students and they hug me and ask me when they can come by and visit. They tell about what's going on. One of them needs my help getting into medical school. ( She calls me a goddess since I helped her to get a government research grant.)

And the truth is I love being in a school. I am comfortable here. but that may be the biggest reason, in the long run, to leave.