Bitches, man, they're all bitches
( courtesy of Say Anything)

So there is this hot Argentine guitarist who plays jazz across the street at Rohr's. I spotted him two weeks ago, and I always go and grade and listen to them play ( it's him and another guy). Twice a week, every week, but I have too much of a pussy to really say anything to him.

The reason I didn't say anything is this guy is hot to begin with then he's foreign so he has an accent AND he's a musician this guy must look like the ASPCA he has so much free pussy, so I couldn't believe he would be interested in me.

Not that I am not attractive. I am, but I am also smart, and as John Yule established, and the Assless Wonder verified for me earlier tonight, educated pussy is very intimidating-and I have a grad degree.

But the Assless Wonder gave me an imperative tonight, I was to talk to hot Argentine guitarist and get his number. And I was going to, I swear, and then...

So earlier in the evening they are playing and these two chicks come in. One looks like Audrey from the movie Little Shop of Horrors ( complete with leopard print half coat) but much heavier and the other is an Asian chick who's half shirt highlights her Buddha belly and has this shade of bright red that looks like it should have stayed in the crayola box.

Really, they could have done so much better.

So these chicks listen for a bit and they whisper to each other like 4th graders and then they leave.

The asian one comes back and leaves a note on the back of a card that says "Game of pool?" Then she leaves again.

Two hours later they both come back and listen to the end of the set. They are both drunk. I mean knocking stuff over drunk. And what do these guy do? They leave with them.

Jesus H Christ on a fucking crutch.

You know when I was 24 I was an agnostic. Now I am an atheist who doesn't even believe in Darwinist ideas. What ELSE is there for me to lose faith in? Gravity?

I am so disappointed in these guys. I mean these girls didn't buy coffee, tip the band, OR EVEN LISTEN TO THE SET. ( Afterwards the girls said to the "Oh you guys are soooo talented." Really? How could you tell from a bar across the street with both doors closed?) I on the other hand am a dedicated and respectful groupie. I go every week, I stay to the end, I buy coffee, I tip the band. And I get smiles and nods. The joy, it is acknowledged I exist in time and space.

But what I am talking about here is operant condition and Darwinism. First off, don't encourage the bad behavior. And I don't mean bein' "easy", I mean bein' obnoxious and stupid and yes yes evil. C'mon think about the human race, people, do it for mankind! Do you really want to pass the no mannered gene onto your children?

But really men bitch about all the stupid stuff girls do ( Jin, you know it), like Bill Maher. Bill said, "Women can't complain about men until they start showing better taste in them" in his last HBO special. Well, the same goes for you, boys. You pick the idiot girls with bad fashion and no manners, well then don't complain when they are idiot girls with bad fashion and no manners. You knew it, you accepted it, now frickin' live with it.


I am so pissed. I have been kicking things. In fact, I am so upset I am going to go and have a drink.

I REALLY NEED a boyfriend. It's so sad. I haven't had even a "fun" boyfriend in like a year. The other night when I was sitting at the bar with Miracle Gro he touched my hand and I felt it all over my body, not because he is my true love or anything, but because it's been so long since someone simply touched my hand. (They all want to go, in the words of John Cleese, "Stampeding towards the clitoris.")

The worst idea is that maybe argentine guitarist would have been interested if I had done something instead of acting like a reserved new englander. Like maybe I should say something. Since I don't believe in fate or destine, I ampretty much the victim of my own pussiness.

or maybe he just wants easy american pussy without an english degree.

And this whole rant doesn't even begin to do justice to how depressed I am.

And on top of everything I was supposed to have a date tonight and he cancelled...AGAIN. One more cancellation and I am sending the Assless Wonder to give a beat down.

At least then he'll have a reason to cancel...so hard to eat without front teeth.