The Keith Richards friday night achievement award goes to....

Ok so I partied hardcore last night HARD CORE. I feel great. Actually, I feel like the floor of the six train, but I had a great night.

It's like whenever I think I need to move, I hate NYC, it's like NYC hears and thinks to itself "Well, I'll fix that."

I go into F's last night with the intention of simply having one drink and saying hello to some of my friends. So this guy I met a year ago, who was married at the time, is there. He claims he isn't married now. He is going downtown to a birthday party, and he wants to take me with him.

So the party is at a gay bar called the Slide. I meet all these fabulous gay men including one who looks like the way I imagine Dorian Gray to look. So that's what we shall call him.

We have drinks. We go to a karoake bar. We sing for two hours. We go to Standard.

Now I could have woken up naked and hung over in the formerly married man's bed. God knows he tried, even though I kept telling him I wanted to date.

One of my favorite moments of the evening was I told him, "I'm not going to sleep with you tonight."

Pause.

"Ok so when can you see sleeping with me?"

Who am I? Madame Cleo?

Later when he was trying to convince me that he didn't just want me for my body, he actually said "No what I really like about you is your..."

At which point he forgot what he was going to say because he was so entranced by my boobs.

Now imbecile then proceed to hit on this huge woman dressed like Elvira. He kept trying to get me to go home with him, but then he would switch back to her.

Well, I wasn't havin' it. I was like "Go with her. I'm not interested in going home with you."

So I ended up in bed next to Dorian Gray.

We had a great time.

I could have woken up next to a perhaps married man feeling used and disgusted with myself and him.

Instead, I had a great night, met fabulous people, spent way too much money and have a well earned hang over.

And now I have a date. Of course, ain't that always the way.

I should say it's not with the married man referred to here.

In fact, as far as I know, he isn't married.