So yesterday the floor manager at the office where I USED TO work called to tell me that he packaged the rest of the stuff in my desk and sent it me. I'm sure he thought he was doing me a favor rather than having me schlep two boxes of books uptown. "Oh," I said, "I wish you had called before you sent it because I would have shipped it to my mom's place in upstate. That's where most of that stuff will end up anyway." "Oh really? Won't the post office deliver two boxes?" "I don't have a door man." "Well do you have a luggage carrier?"

Do I have a luggage carrier?

No. But luckily I do have some burly male friends who like nothing better than showing off their upper body strength and I live close to the post office.

Today I got home after doing massive candy safari for the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors (I now have marshmallow pumpkins, black cats and ghosts, gummy brains, pumpkin lollies, gummy worms and brains, gourmet candy corn, well and lots of other stuff) and discovered an envelope in my mailbox from NYU addressed to Prof. Speigelman. Inside it announced that I was eligible for health insurance thanks to the union contract! I can't get anyone on the phone who knows who I should speak to about back pay, but now I have health insurance? Man, I'm gonna call tomorrow and see if I can get it. Make the assbackwards morons pay for a physical after all these years!

Now go read about the alligators (see post below).