Saturday in the Park with Bunni

Well I know I have been slacking lately. The summer semester is nigh, and I've been out and about having a great time. Honestly it's like New York heard I was thinking of moving and was like "Quick, we have to do something."

I admit part of my lack of blogging has been due to um distracting issues. Just accept and don't ask.

So July fourth I hung out with Jin and Company in the park and then watched the fireworks from the roof of a friend's house. Today I hung out on my stoop and tried to read Augustine's Confessions. (I did actually make it through Books I and II.) And now I am on the verge of a new semester pondering its beginning with trepidation. I am so unprepared. I hve to read Machiavelli, Matthew, Marx, and Montaigne. (Yes I left the M's for last.) And I'm totally unprepared for the prose class. Right now I am trying to watch Mighty Aphrodite to use with Lysistrata.

but somehow blogging seems very unimportant now. Oh except I do have one interesting story to impart upon you.

The Return of John Yule

Now if you go back to the from last week entitled the wierdest day I could have without leaving the apartment you will see an update about John Yule. Basically he came to my apartment in the middle of the night. Well, last night he did it again. (And now unbidden that awful Britney Spears song popped into my head.) So he buzzes me at five in the morning. I'm exhausted. I answer the door. and there he is. This time he had been drinking (I couldn't tell what). So he comes in. So finally I'm like "Alright what's up? What's going on?" And he says "Well I really liked having sex with you." So I'm like "Ok and you still have a girlfriend." And he says "yes, how do you feel about that?"

How do I feel about that?

What are you, doctor Phil? And who cares what I feel about it, what about her? And what about him? So I said "Well, how do you feel about that?" And he says that he feels awful. (Interestingly all his girlfriend has to do is find this blog, and I will have terminated his issue. But since he never emails, and never calls, I'm fairly sure he won't find the blog, but she, if she is an enterprising girl, she very well might. My blog comes up as the number 55 search result for John Yule -out of a possible 517.) And I'm like "Ok." So then he says "You know you shouldn't let me in." Oh, Oh blaming the victim. Well not really. I say "Well maybe you shouldn't ask me then." And he pulls the "You're right, You're right. I know you're right." And then, then he says "You know, I shouldn't do this because you're a cool girl." I agree. He says "Well I guess I should quit coming around then."

Now being someone whose stock and trade is specificity in language I say "Uh, well that's like breaking up after a first date. You can't really quit because you haven't set up enough of a pattern. But ok." And you see here is where I got pissed.

Being the other woman. I have no problem with that. I should, but I don't. Probably because I've been the other woman so much. One of the major tenants of Greek philosophy is "Know thyself." But when the Greeks said this part of what they meant was "know thy place." And my place is in a locked in a hotel room. My place is my phone number written on a bar napkin thrown away, scratches on the back hidden, strange late night walks. My place is as the unnamed "friend." My place is not at an altar or by a man's side at a party. And I have, as the Greeks recommended, accepted my place is the universe. My place is as the Other Woman (as sung by Nina Simone).

But this, when he suddenly turned tail. I was actually hurt by that. I'm not sure why, but I was. And he said he wouldn't come back, but I don't believe it. He'll be back at some point. Perhaps genius will finally figure out I have been broadcasting his adulterous urges.

The other thing is I would like to say what I think of his cheating here. What I think is that if you cheat that something is wrong with your relationship, and you don't feel comfortable telling her and this is recipe for disaster. Or, or there is another option, she's not the right one. Because back in the days when I was with Eric, men threw themselves at me left and right. And I was tempted, trust me. I had a gorgeous Austrian guy who wanted to do things to me on a pool table that I couldn't even spell. I was close, but when I thought about what I had, I realized it was so much better, I wanted no part of this guy. (Ok ok, maybe a small part. )

What I think is that the basis of all love is sacrifice. Everything is about the price you are willing to pay. And real love takes sacrifice. That's what it's all about people.

So what I think is that there are problems with John's relationship which is why he turns up on my doorstep at four in the morning. And the problem will probably get worse. Probably, but not necessarily. And G-d knows relationship problems can fester for years. He may handle it now, but suddenly twenty years down the road it becomes intolerable. And by then he has kids. And he has to go through a messy divorce and pay alimony and child support when all he had to was be honest with himself and her about what was going on.

Would I be happier if I were her? If I had someone to snuggle with in the park only be cheated on in the night?

And if I was dating him, would he be cheating on me? Is it inherit in him, or is it about this particular relationship?

And why am I wasting my blog with his issues since he is never coming back (according to him). Like getting to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop, the world may never know.