Hot for teacher


"Each one of us has this nasty little sexual fantasy, some thing that's so dark and so twisted you almost judge yourself. Something that no matter how close you are with your lover, even during one of those all night "Hey I killed somebody once" conversations, you would NEVER tell them. And that thing, somewhere there is a magazine dedicated just to that. And some guy has to work there. Somewhere your deep dark fantasy is somebody else's pain in the ass job."-Patton Oswald

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine who makes extra cash by being a "freelance dominatrix". We were supposed to meet that night for drinks and she called an hour later to say "Can we make it ten? I just got a call from a guy who wants me to dress up like a teacher and spank him."

The two most common questions I field when people find out what I do for a living are: have you ever been attracted to a student or have you ever been hit on by a student?

Have I ever been attracted to a student? Well, yes. Every once in a while, I walk into a classroom, and before anyone says anything I see a student who is attractive.

And then he speaks.

And it's all over. Honestly there is very little use in my world for an 18 year old boy except as a decorative door stop.

Have I ever been hit on by a student?

No, although I've had a few that got dangerously close. I have heard from reputable source that many of my students HAVE crushes on me. But honestly, I would rather not consider that ten years from now these same guys are going to be paying dominatrixes to dress up like me and spank them. I'm even icked out by the concept that at night alone in their bedrooms they imagine that underneath my ankle length skirt ( ok I admit I don't have an ankle length skirt, but go with me on this one) I am wearing a leather garter belt and matching bustier.

A quick search on google for the song "hot for teacher" yielded these results. The "see students fucking their sexy teachers" tag line for the first site made me shiver in revulsion, but it does illustrate that my students are not alone in their passion. Teachers often feel the same way about their students. ALthough I do not entertain fantasizes about students, other teachers in my own department don't feel the same way. One male professor tells his female students "As soon as you graduate, I can date you." He's only half teasing. He has confessed to me on many occassions of being so overwhelmed by the physical attractiveness of some female students as to be on the verge of irresistable impulse. Some female teachers have also confided in me about attractions to male students. Furthermore, although not in my department, there have been many cases of student/teacher relationships, even at my own high school. (An English teacher at my high school took a year off so she could marry one of her former students, who had gone to college. When she returned to teach, she was pregnant with his child. Although everyone knew about the affair, the school never took any action against her.)



To be fair, everybody has had at least one teacher crush myself included. Mine was junior english teacher in high school. He looked like a young Andy Garcia. I never fantasized about him. For me, it was enough just to sit and listen to him talk about Arthur Miller or Sophocles. Most of the other girls were after either the young math teacher, Mr. G ( who lost his mind later and would only eat soy products and always entered and exited his apartment through the window-which was on the second floor and only accessible by climbing the rose trellis) or Mr. B ( who left to go to seminary). Although others may have imagined, or actually succeeded in bedding, their teachers, I never could even imagine my teacher crush with his shirt off. Much like Angela in the film American Beauty, as much as I flirted with him if he had actually tried anything with me, I think I would have fled in terror. (I didn't do anything but kiss a boy until I was 18-ain't backlash a bitch?)

I still think about him sometimes. He was only about five years older than me, which would put him at about 35. I wonder, would I still want him if he wasn't my teacher?

And would I be able to imagine him without his shirt now?