The Hills Have Eyes
That one was for Bakerina, I thought considering the party a couple of cannibal films would be appropriate. Unfortunately I am on my second margarita and rapidly losing the ability to type. Especially since my mother neglected to mention that mother of Duke Nukem would be attending this party. Just who I don't need to see two weeks after the Wee Russian Asshat dumps me. I asked my mother "Why didn't warn me?" and she said "Oh it really didn't occur to me." That's my mother, only comes to this planet to get her mail.

This one goes out to my ex Duke Nukem:
Boy: I don't think I have it in me to shoot my mother, my roommate, and my girlfriend in the same day.
Girl: Who says I took you back?
Boy: You don't want to die single, do you?


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