In Praise of Men Who Are Upfront About Just Wanting Sex

"One time I actually slept with a guy to get him to stop trying to sleep with me." WASP by Steve Martin

Actually, tonight I met for the first time Ari of Ari Goes Down. She was great. We had a fabulous time sitting on my front step snarking about man problems until my upstairs neighbors who are like the cast of freakin' Deliverance showed up and made a big deal about her dog (which honestly is an amazingly cute and well behaved dog).

But we were having a conversation that actually has some relevance to the shout out Jin posted on my last entry. I would like to say for the record I would prefer a guy who is upfront about just wanting sex. I had an experience a few months ago, which I neglected to blog about because it was fairly insignificant. What happened? I see this hot guy in a bar, not much upstairs, but what a staircase! Anyway we flirt and flirt and I take him home. He stays the night, the next day does he take my number? No. Do I offer mine? No. Was I hurt? No. We both got what we wanted and left the situation satisfied. What hurts is sitting by a non ringing phone. Or even worse when they talk you all up about how gorgeous you are, and how lucky they are to have met you, and how they can't wait to take you out or call you (see Mike the Industrial Plumber). PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT. Because then I have to sit and ponder what I could have happened that would suddenly make you not want to call me. And I mean I've had guys like head over heels. I give them a kiss good night and they promise to call the next day, and voom. Gone. I can only hope that they were hit by a car on the way home and were left unharmed but with discreet amnesia. You just want me for my body, just tell me. Because with me, you just might have a shot at that.

Remember the story of Damien the guy who asked me "Do you want to just go back to my place, throw off our clothes, have sex, and then never see me again?" Well, actually no, but thanks for asking. But the truth is there are nights and certain people where the answer would be yes. There are certain guys I don't want to date, but a roll in hay? Sure. And I would rather have a guy be upfront. I like to make an informed decision. That's all.

And to the guys who are honest about just wanting sex, I salute you. I do. I just wish you could maybe on occassion send those really into oral sex and cuddling guys my way.

Just sayin'.