When Emily Dickenson Looks Good

Just came from my two o clock class and I am ready to quit. Not just the job, but this life. Take my cat and a handful of Meow Mix and just head for Vermont or Maine or someplace very far from these unappreciative sullen silent children. You know, I take all this time to try and come up with something amusing-I dig through monty python and bill hicks and old craftmatic adjustable bed commercials to illustrate logical fallacies and what do I get? Nothing. I try and talk about ah-nold, which they seem to want to talk about, but have a discussion and nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

Nothing.

It's killing me. I think I need to start being a serious bitch. I don't want to be but when students come in and sleep in front of me, I mean, obviously sleeping, well, it is time ladies and gentleman, to break out my old stack heeled knee high lace up boots. I mean, I hate doing this, but really, they are ruining my life. I ready to bag the phd plan because I don't know if I want to be a teacher...at all.

I don't know if I want to be an academic. The basic problem is this, what the hell else would I do? I'm not really trained to do anything except work in publishing and I have a feeling I would be even less happy there ( partially because all of my fellow grads from grad school went into publishing-I mean like book and magazine publishing-and hate it. Whenever I call them, they are very clear in their anti publishing argument.) So what else? What other career could I have? Go back to go into psychology? Another low paying field or try to go into psychiatry? Actually go through med school? I don't think so. I don't think I could pull it off.

So basically, what is the solution? Or is there one? And if I decide to stay in academia should I focus on publishing or just focus on the school part? Do I leave NYC and my hot argentine guitarists and drunken rooftop conversation and astronomical rent or do I stay here?