Can't Anything Be Simple?

Jesus, I feel like a gossip column these days. I took the GRE on friday, didn't do as badly as I thought. The math score was better than expected ( I was aiming very low) but the verbal score wasn't as high as it should have been. This is what I get for not knowing the third defintion of the word "plangent." Anyway, I went and had a victory martini afterwards and was in bed by four in the afternoon. (Well, I had to get up at 5:30 to take the exam.) So I'm going to have to take the exam again. I have to get in the high seven hundreds before I go for the doctorate.

And now for the gossip. Israel called at around 2 to see how I did on the test. How nice of him, right? Except he said he was going to call at 11:15. Well I could have forgiven that, but because of the stress I was under I shut my cell phone off for the weekend. I haven't taken a call since friday at seven. I thought there would be a message or something. Nope, not a word.
So now I have to decide. Do I stay commited to my premise of "giving him distance" until he realizes that I'm not around or do I call and say "Oh, did you miss me?"

Why are these things always so difficult?

And to complicate matters even further I have a man who desperately wants me, who is willing to do whatever I want, but of course, I have no respect for and therefore no desire for him.

Damn it.