"I recently received a letter that said 'Darling, Marry me or I'll kill myself.' Well I was disturbed until I looked and realized that the letter was addressed to 'occupant'" Tom Lehrer introducing his song "National Brotherhood Week"

OK I wasn't going to blog about this, but well it has turned into an ongoing debacle so I feel the need to vent. A woman in my office is getting married. Now I see this woman maybe ten times a year, and we have never spoken, except for an initial interview three years ago, for more than twenty minutes. And yet apparently simply by virtue of being a woman and being in the office with her I'm supposed to care that she is getting married.

Now I don't mean to be petty and cruel and divisive, but, well, ok I will.

I don't see why working in the office with this woman obligates me to attend her bridal shower ( which threw me into such a serious depression last week I had to down two TWO martinis). I don't know when she is getting married or even the name of her intended, and yet supposedly I should care. Mainly because I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH HER. Not that she's a bad woman but I didn't care to be her friend before she was married, I don't really want to be it now simply because she is "getting hitched." All the other women in the office are a flutter with "Can't you believe it" and "Isn't it wonderful?" And I could really care less. I would rather keep my money and spend my thursday night sleeping or vaccuming or analyzing the deep symbolic content of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Now don't get me wrong. When my close friend had an engagement party in CT, I never thought of not going ( although I did resent it). But I've known her since we were five. I'm in the damn bridal party. I wasn't going to even try to weasel out of that one.

But what I do object to is that all the single women in my office seem to have the goal, not only for themselves, but for the rest of us single women, to get married. The Mistake bought the Rules for me so that I could get married. Another prof. is all on about me marrying Israel. Now is it so inconceivable that I might want to, oh say date, before I get married? Or even more heretically, might I not want to get married and remain a single gal with a full male harem?

And after I have sacrificed money for a bridal shower, my thursday night when I should have been studying for the GRE for the shower, my wednesday night to buy the gifts for thursday night, now I have to give another couple of bucks for the wedding present.

In the words of the drag queen in the film Trick "Am I bitter? Absolutely."