Miracle Gro, the Jolly Green Giant, and the Little Hot Pink Dress

OK, so I have been dating someone this week. Yep, I been holdin' out people, but after the whole Israel debacle, can you blame me?

But, of course, I wouldn't be Bunni if I couldn't come up with some quality scandal. It's also a long damn story, so put on some christmas music and get the hot cocoa out (you might want to spike it with a little peppermint schnapps).

Saturday night I met a guy who is six foot four. For the record I am four foot six. You do the math. Apparently he likes me, or he's really dedicated to bedding me, as we went out on sunday night and then again last night. On Sunday I told some Miracle Gro related story, and so my date, let's call him the Jolly Green Giant, said he wanted to see me dance. Well it so happens there is showcase this weekend. And Giant wants to come, in fact, he's freakin ecstatic. Which terrifies the hell out of me. I mean I've never seen a man so happy to spend his free time watching ballroom. It borders on being a violation of the natural order.

Yesterday, I was dancing with Miracle Gro and he asked me what I was going to wear for the showcase, if I had a costume. I described the dress I had bought last year. He told me to wait, he brings out this little latin ballroom outfit. I mean LITTLE, not quite L'il Kim little, not quite pardon my pasties little, but when I spin you can see the cheerleader like dance bottoms little. Miracle Gro insists I try it on, and when he sees it on he says "Dance with me." We dance and then says "it's yours." Now this dress was originally probably around 1500 dollars (it custom designed for a specific dancer), but it is seven years old. The owner, apparently, doesn't want it anymore and was trying to get Gro to sell it, but Gro gave it to me so that I would "Have an outfit that reflects how you have grown as a dancer."

Then Gro tells me that he tried to call me the other day because he was having computer trouble. So I talked to him about it, I couldn't figure out the issue so I gave him my cell number and told him I would come take a look. (Ok let me check this out- Uh huh-let me just lean over here for a sec-oh yeah, baby, this looks fiiiiiiiine.)

I go running off on my date, I meet the Giant. I am showing the Giant my new dress and who comes in but Gro. So there I sit talking to both , flanked by two attractive, blonde, tall men. If my father were alive, this would have killed him. If there were anything worse than me dating a blonde hair blue eyed man WHO KNOWS GERMAN, it would be dating two of them. ( which I'm not technically dating Gro, I am just lusting after him, but still) Giant didn't seem to notice anything, although he suddenly got strangely insecure at the end of date. ( I know, a guy with me being wierd, what are the chances?)

So now I am going to dance for the Giant with Gro on Saturday.

As I said before, sometimes it really kicks ass to be me.

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